You Get the Life You CHOOSE…

NOT the Life You WANT

There is a song by American punk rock band, Pennywise called “You Get the Life You Choose”. Don’t ask me how I know this–I just do (besides, those of you who know me well already know that I have questionable taste in music–ha!)

While some would see this song title as negative (because we want the life that we want right?), I love the empowering notion that we get to live the life of our choosing. This is a message that was drilled into my head on a daily basis back when I was in treatment for Anorexia and working to put my life back together after escaping an incredibly toxic marriage. My therapist told me repeatedly that our lives are the results of the choices we make. If we want better lives, we absolutely had to make better choices. 

This sounds so simple doesn’t it? Want a good life? Okay then–make good choices. Easy enough right?

WRONG.

Use Your Past to Fuel Your Future

Four Strategies to Ensure that You are Empowered by Your Past...NOT Enslaved by It

The past, present and future walked into a bar…it was tense

HAHAHA! My degree is in English so this is probably my all-time favorite joke. Seriously, if you don’t find it funny, I just don’t know what to say about that. What’s not a joke however is the way in which too many of us allow the trials and traumas of our pasts to rob us of our joy in the present and our dreams and aspirations for the future.

31 Questions for 31 Days

December 2016

31-questionsfor31-daysdecember-2016

If you’ve studied any philosophy in high school or college, you’ve no doubt heard of The Socratic Method. It is a form of inquiry (named after the classical Greek philosopher, Socrates) that is based upon asking and answering questions to stimulate critical thinking and to illuminate ideas.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been one to ask a lot of questions. I’m sure that this sometimes annoyed my parents and exasperated my teachers, but asking questions is how I learned to satisfy my curiosity about the many interesting things in the world around me. Once I was in college however; my academic advisor taught me the value of asking questions in order to gain understanding not just of the world around me, but also of the things that were going on inside of me.

Turn Your Joker into an ACE

Making the Most of the Hand You're Dealt

Vector Joker

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations

Charles Swindoll

If you got excited when you read the title of this post because you thought that you were finally going to get some advice on how to turn your goof of a boyfriend into a suave, debonair gentleman—I’m sorry to disappoint you. This chapter is not about changing your man. It is however, about changing your life circumstances and let’s face it—that’s probably going to be a bit more impactful on your overall FabYOUlousness levels.

Ditch the Drama to Find Your Dharma

Seven Steps to Finding Peace On Your Path

Water Lily flower

Drama, drama, drama. It’s EVERYWHERE. It’s on our televisions, in our schools and FILLS our Facebook feed.

I’ll confess that I enjoy losing myself in a good drama occasionally. Tuning in to watch Keifer Sutherland play President Kirkman on the TV show Designated Survivor is something that I look forward to every week—it makes my life seem so much more sane compared to espionage, terror attacks and finding out that your teenage son may (or may not) have been fathered by another man. A little bit of drama as a means of finding entertainment can certainly have its place in our life. It’s an entirely different story however, when the drama isn’t just on the TV or movie screen and instead is a prevalent component of our everyday existence.

Detox Your Spiritual Life

10 Ways to Ditch Your Negative B.S. (Belief Systems)

copy-of-peace-of-mindDo you find yourself in a perpetual bad mood these days? Are you experiencing a lack of energy that goes beyond just being tired and instead has you feeling genuinely weary? Are you bored with your life and frustrated with a lack of enthusiasm?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance that your life is in need of a good spiritual/mental detox.

Follow Your Heart, Trust Your Gut & Use Your Brain

Life Doesn't Have to be an Either/Or Proposition

follow-your-heart-trust-your-gut-use-your-brainHow many times do you find yourself in situations when you feel like your heart is telling you one thing while your brain is telling you something completely different?

For me, this used to happen WAY more often than I liked and when it did, I hated the angst that came along with not knowing which direction to go.

Why does this happen? How can our internal guidance system get so out of sync with itself? How can our brain, gut and heart all be telling us different things and trying to send us off in totally different directions?

30 Questions for 30 Days

November 2016

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If you’ve studied any philosophy in high school or college, you’ve no doubt heard of The Socratic Method. It is a form of inquiry (named after the classical Greek philosopher, Socrates) that is based upon asking and answering questions to stimulate critical thinking and to illuminate ideas.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been one to ask a lot of questions. I’m sure that this sometimes annoyed my parents and exasperated my teachers, but asking questions is how I learned to satisfy my curiosity about the many interesting things in the world around me. Once I was in college however; my academic advisor taught me the value of asking questions in order to gain understanding not just of the world around me, but also of the things that were going on inside of me.

FEAR…Use it to Lose it!

Fab-YOU-lous Ways to Conquer Fear by Making it Work FOR You

fear-use-it-to-lose-itAh October–the month when ghosts and ghouls come out of hiding, spider webs are hung as decorations, witches cast their spooky spells and we visit haunted houses because we actually want to be scared. This is the one time of year when we enjoy and even celebrate feelings of fear.

What about the other eleven months of the year though? Isn’t fear a feeling that we normally try to avoid? Isn’t fear a feeling that we normally should try to avoid?

The answer to these questions is yes…and, no.

Yes, clearly we need to take the steps necessary to keep us out of certain kinds of scary situations. Don’t go walking alone at night down dark, scary alleys on the sketchy side of town. Don’t go skydiving from a plane without first making sure that your parachute is packed correctly and don’t poke a sleeping Grizzly Bear with a stick. These kinds of activities are bound to result in the kind of fear that should most definitely be avoided at all costs.

What about other kinds of fear though? What about the fear that many people have of public speaking or the suffocating fear of failure that most of us experience from time to time?

31 Questions for 31 Days

October 2016

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If you’ve studied any philosophy in high school or college, you’ve no doubt heard of The Socratic Method. It is a form of inquiry (named after the classical Greek philosopher, Socrates) that is based upon asking and answering questions to stimulate critical thinking and to illuminate ideas.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been one to ask a lot of questions. I’m sure that this sometimes annoyed my parents and exasperated my teachers, but asking questions is how I learned to satisfy my curiosity about the many interesting things in the world around me. Once I was in college however; my academic advisor taught me the value of asking questions in order to gain understanding not just of the world around me, but also of the things that were going on inside of me.