Okay–I know that it seems strange that I (a woman whose children are now in their early 20’s) am writing a post about how to keep children entertained during the summer. I realize that this is no longer an issue that I, personally, have to deal with, however; I still, to this day, have PTSD from the many summers of trying desperately to keep two busy little boys entertained during the long, hot days of summer vacation.

So, in an effort to help those of you who are still in the trenches; I’ve put together a list of some of the activities that my boys enjoyed back in the day, and have combined those suggestions with other ideas that I have found through research and by chatting with friends of mine who still have school aged kiddos. Hopefully this list will give you a few ideas that you haven’t tried yet, or spur your own creativity to come up with additional suggestions. I have to confess, some of these ideas sound super fun. I may want to try them…even without kids!

50 FabYOUlous Ways to Entertain Your Kiddos this Summer

1. Start a scrapbook–let your kids select the photos and decorate the pages with stickers, drawings etc.
2. Volunteer at an animal shelter–the critters will love the attention from your kiddos and vice versa.
3. Start a jigsaw puzzle that will take a while to complete–do it on a large piece of foam core board so that the puzzle can be moved out of the way when it isn’t being worked on
4. Plant a garden–your kids might just eat their veggies if they grew them themselves
5. Check out the kid’s workshops at Home Depot–visit their website to see what projects are being offered.
6. Roast marshmallows over a fire pit in the backyard–if your kids don’t spook easily, you can even throw in a ghost story or two.
7. Learn to tie-dye some groovy fashions–for a simple “how-to”, click here.
8. Have an alphabet scavenger hunt–your kiddos must find one item that begins with every letter of the alphabet.
9. Make a giant Twister game or Hopscotch in the backyard or driveway–if in the yard, use spray paint. If in the driveway, used colored sidewalk chalk.
10. Bake cookies to deliver to the neighbors–and watch your family become the most popular family on the block. If it’s too hot to bake, try some no-bake cookies.
11. Have a water balloon fight–outdoors…obviously.
12. Go stargazing–learn about a few constellations and then see if you can point them out in the night sky.
13. Visit a zoo or aquarium–make it an educational experience by learning about the animals you visit.
14. Visit a retirement home–and have your kiddos read stories to the residents.
15. Let kids paint each other with washable Tempera paint–and then wash it off by running through the sprinklers in the backyard.
16. Take your kids to a baseball game–bonus points if you teach them how to keep a scorecard.
17. Set up a tent in the backyard and go “camping”–this one was a fave with my boys when they were younger.
18. Make good use of nearby parks–we’d go to a park almost every day when my boys were little.
19. Take a hike–we live in beautiful Colorado where the hiking trails are endless, so this is another fave of ours–even now that my boys are older.
20. Join a summer reading club–click here for suggestions on where to find these clubs.
21. Join a Junior Ranger Program–many national and state parks have these fun and educational programs.
22. Have a garage sale–your kids can earn some spending money by getting rid of items they no longer want/use.
23. Make ice eggs–on the night before an especially warm day, fill balloons with water and then slip a small toy inside the balloon as well. Put the balloons in the freezer and then send the kids outside with their “eggs” the next day. When the eggs melt, the toys will be revealed. For extra fun–add food coloring to the water to make colored ice eggs.
24. Visit a local police or fire station–since most departments don’t have set visiting hours, be sure to call ahead to set up a time. For added fun, take some homemade treats to your local heroes.
25. Organize a neighborhood kick-ball tournament–a fun way to bring neighbors together for a little friendly competition.
26. Make some goop–create a mysterious matter that kids can shape into balls or let ooze from their fingers. Here’s how:
    * Pour one cup water into a large mixing bowl.
    * Add a few drops of food coloring (any color).
    * Slowly stir in two cups of cornstarch (use a spoon at first, but you may eventually find it’s easier with your hands).
27. Enroll in summer craft class–most Michael’s or Joann’s Fabrics stores have summer classes for kids.
28. Host a toy swap–invite your kid’s friends to bring over a few toys that they no longer play with and have a swap. Everyone leaves with a toy that’s “new” to them.
29. Make homemade ice cream–because let’s face it, homemade tastes best.
30. Make tin-can stilts–remember those? So much fun!
31. Craft some wind chimes–click here for instructions.
32. Make a fairy garden–it’s simple, click here to learn how.
33. Visit a farmer’s market–and bring home some fresh produce.
34. Play tourist in your own town–staycations truly can be a lot of fun if you view your hometown through tourist eyes.
35. Learn how to double dutch jumprope–or…start with a single rope if necessary.
36. Play a nighttime game of flashlight tag at a local park or backyard–while you’re at it, keep your eyes open for fireflies.
37. Build a birdhouse–or a bat house!
38. Go to a drive-in movie–Especially fun if you own a pick-up truck and lots of pillows and blankets.
39. Go fly a kite–I’m a grown up and I still love flying kites.
40. Host an ice cream sundae bar–heck, have ice cream sundaes for dinner just once.
41. Paint pet rocks–they require a lot less care and maintenance than a real pet.
42. Make popsicles–all you need is some fruit juice, dixie cups and popsicle sticks. Easy peasy.
43. Create a bicycle obstacle course–don’t forget the helmets!
44. Make root beer floats for your kids and the neighborhood kids–maybe for the neighborhood adults too.
45. Set up a lemonade stand–an oldie but a goodie.
46. Learn origami–for simple tutorials, click here.
47. Learn Pig Latin together–it’s like your own secret language.
48. Learn some simple magic tricks–and then put together a magic show. Here are some beginner tricks to get you started.
49. Go geocaching–lots of fun for older kiddos. Click here for an introduction.
50. Study insects with a magnifying glass–just be sure that the sun is not shining through the glass…the object here is to study the insects, not fry them.

Yes, having the kids home from school does require a bit more planning and preparation, but it also means more freedom and fun. Be sure to make time to enjoy your kids–they grow up SO fast, but happy summer memories will stay with them forever.

Hygge (pronounced hoo-ga) is a word that has been around for a long time but is just starting to gain traction in the U.S. It originates from a Norwegian word that loosely translates to a sense of comfort, well-being and togetherness. It’s the cozy feeling you have when you are curled up under a blanket with a good book and cup of cocoa as the snow falls outside; or when you and your family gather around the table for a game of Uno (or better yet–Jenga with a Twist) after having shared a meal together.

The Danes are famously the happiest people on the planet (despite having terrible weather and one of the highest tax rates in the world) and one of the biggest reasons for this is the fact that hygge is a cornerstone of their way of life. This is a lesson that the rest of the world could benefit from learning. 

While most things associated with hygge are things that we typically associate with fall and winter (blankets, fireplaces, fluffy slippers, warm drinks etc.) There are ways to incorporate this sense of well-being, comfort and coziness into our spring-time routines as well. Here are seven ways to practice hygge this Spring so that intentional well-being becomes a way of life–all year long.

Seven Ways to Practice Hygge in the Spring

1.) Keep the fires burning. Fire in the fireplace is a mainstay of a hygge lifestyle. Obviously, that’s great for taking off the chill during fall and winter months, but who wants a fire once the temperature starts heating up? To keep this hygge practice going during the spring and summer months, simply take the fire outside. Grab some marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate bars for s’mores and build a fire in a fire pit. Invite some friends over and enjoy the comfort of camaraderie underneath the stars.

2) Keep the candles burning but swap them out. Candles add a cozy ambiance to any setting no matter what time of year. For spring and summer though, you might want to consider swapping out the spicy or woodsy scented candles for something a little lighter. Try floral scents like gardenia or rose or fruity fragrances like lemon.

3.) Bring nature indoors. Bring in some beautiful, fresh cut flowers or click here for a tutorial on how to create your own tabletop succulent garden. Not only will having some fresh plants inside make your space feel more alive–it will also help to cleanse the air since plants are natural air purifiers.

4.) Let in some fresh air. Now that the weather is getting warmer and the days are getting longer, it’s time to spend more time being active outdoors and getting some fresh air. It’s also time to let some of that fresh air in to our homes. Open the windows, let the fresh air in and allow the freshness of spring to invigorate your senses.

5.) Declutter. During the colder months we tend to hibernate which means more heavy blankets, pillows and throws. Spring time is the perfect time to pack those items away, and streamline our spaces. Few things create a sense of calm more quickly than getting rid of clutter and making room for new energy to circulate throughout our living areas.

6.) Lighten up. Everything seems heavier in the winter but in the spring, it’s time to lighten things up. Open the shades to let the light in, swap out dark, heavy fabrics for lighter knits and linens and replace warm, dark colors with lighter pastels and creams. Not only will this lighten up your decor, it’ll lighten your mood as well.

7.) Play some outdoor games. Whether it’s croquet, bocce ball or oversized yard Jenga, outdoor games can replace indoor games of cards and dominoes once the weather gets nicer. Enjoying time outside with friends and family, playing games while drinking some ice cold lemonade and sharing stories can create just as much connection as playing board games in front of a roaring fire while sipping cocoa.

Comfort, coziness and togetherness are key components of a hygge lifestyle and they are feelings that can be cultivated all year long with a little intentionality. Try these seven tips for a spring full of hygge based happiness.

Once you’ve added a little hygge to your life, keep building upon your success by taking steps to create a better mindset. These two ebooks are sure to help. Just click the image below to download your FREE copies of “365 Questions to Help You Find Your Answers” and “50 Ways to Energize Your Life”.

I think one of the things that I love most about Fall is the coziness that it brings. Whereas summer is a time for frolicking outdoors and spending the long days adventuring in the sun, sand and surf; Fall is a time to bring it all home. The days are shorter and the evenings have a nip in the air. We spend more time at home with the people we love and settle in as we prepare for winter. We watch football, make soup in the crock-pot, swap out our tank tops for sweatshirts and exchange (at least in my case) our ball gloves for knitting needles.

Regardless of how you like to spend your fall days, here are seven suggestions on ways to usher in the season and celebrate all that it has to offer…

Seven Fab-YOU-lous Ways to Welcome Fall

1.) Treat yourself to a new scarf, sweater or lipstick in a gorgeous Fall color. One of the very best things about Fall is the incredible explosion of color that takes place as the trees prepare to shed their leaves. Celebrate this beauty by incorporating it into your wardrobe  with a special, seasonal signature piece. Whatever you choose, make sure that you LOVE it. Make sure it’s soft and sumptuous as well as beautiful. Make sure that it is something that will lift your spirits and remind you of the richness of the season every time you put it on.

2.) Become a student again. For children, the end of summer always signifies a return to school and to routine. Incorporate this tradition into your own life by signing up for a class on a subject that has always interested you. Maybe you want to learn to cook seasonal soups for your family or how to study genealogy. Most communities offer a variety of low cost classes for adults–it just takes a little research to find them. Personally, I love taking knitting technique classes at our local yarn shop and leadership classes offered through our chamber of commerce. I’ve even taken a woodworking class at our Home Depot (I’m certainly not a master carpenter but I did go home with a cute bird house). If you’re not sure where to inquire about classes, start with your local extension office or rec commission–they often have a list of classes available for adults in the community. Then, once you’ve taken your class and have learned something new, be sure to share your new skill/knowledge with someone else who will appreciate it.

3.) Cozy up your environment. As the days get cooler and the nights get longer, we tend to start spending more and more time at home. Make sure your home is a warm and welcoming refuge for your family. Bring out the warm, snuggly afghans, light the autumn scented candles and hang a pretty Fall themed wreath on the front door. Most of all–make sure that your home is filled with love and laughter.

4.) Stock up. This is the time of year when the squirrels start to stash away their acorns for the coming winter. We don’t need to go to that extreme (unlike the squirrels, most of us have easy access to at least one grocery store) but it is a good time to take stock of what needs to be tended to before winter sets in. Does your chimney need to be cleaned? Do you have fresh batteries in your smoke detectors? Is your pantry filled with healthy staples to make some delicious Fall recipes? Do you need to swap out your summer wardrobe for sweaters and long pants? A little preparation now can save a lot of headache down the road.

5.) Bask in the beauty. Each season brings its own special beauty, but it is hard to rival the fleeting splendor that is Fall. The explosion of color that occurs right before the trees turn loose of their leaves, never ceases to amaze me. The rich red, orange and gold foliage seems to set the mountainsides on fire before the snow sets in and blankets everything in white. Wherever you live, do whatever you can to get out into nature and submerse yourself in the beauty of the season. Go for a drive to look at the leaves, take a walk through a local park or plan a day-hike with friends. It won’t be long before those leaves are gone, so do what you can to enjoy them while you still can.

6.) Savor the flavor. If you frequent Starbucks on a regular basis, you know that there are certain flavors that signify the change of seasons (Pumpkin Spice latte anyone?) Indulge your taste buds and celebrate the season by enjoying the special flavors that are particular to this time of year. Pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, spiced apple, cranberry…so many delicious ways to usher in Fall. If you’re worried about all of the extra calories (ummm…isn’t that why we start wearing sweaters–to cover up our extra padding??), you can compromise by enjoying the aromas associated with these flavors with scented candles. But seriously–let yourself enjoy the flavors, they only come around once a year.

7.) Prepare to celebrate. Fall acts as the gateway to the holiday season. We get to enjoy Halloween and Thanksgiving before ushering in the winter holidays of Christmas and New Years. Make the most of these celebrations by decorating your front porch with Jack-o-Lanterns, taking hay rack rides through pumpkin patches, bobbing for apples, picking out the perfect turkey and perfecting your green-bean casserole recipe. Most of all though, celebrate the season by loving your family, giving thanks for your blessings and lending a hand to those who are less fortunate.

Here in Colorado, Fall tends to be a rather short season because we have long winters. This makes this time of year even more special. Regardless of what Fall looks and feels like in your region, take the time to honor, welcome and celebrate its FabYOUlousness with your loved ones over the coming weeks–you’ll be glad that you did.

As a part of my SAVOR ’16 challenge, I decided that I was going to write one blog post a month about the particularly savorable things that I had enjoyed during that month. Last month was easy to write about because I had just returned from a week long vacation with my family on the gorgeous island of Oahau, Hawaii (you can read about that experience here–but be prepared to be jealous!)

Even though April didn’t include any beautiful beaches or swimming with dolphins, it did have a number of savorable moments of its own and I am so thankful that my Savor ’16 challenge has helped me to become more intentional in recognizing and embracing these moments. Here is just a quick snapshot of some of the incredible moments that I have been blessed to SAVOR during the month of April 2016…

Things I’m SAVORING in April

1.) Special moments with my sons. April is a special month for my family because it is the month in which the “baby” of the family celebrates his birthday. The crazy thing is that my “baby” turned 18 this month. How on earth did that happen? I swear, he was a sweet, pudgy, ornery, little stinker of a toddler but then I blinked my eyes once (maybe twice) and suddenly he became a strong, handsome and kind-hearted man. I just can not believe how quickly the time has flown by. How can it be possible that I am currently up to my eyeballs in high school graduation party planning for my baby? How can it be possible that we are making college plans when it seems like just last week I was a nervous wreck about him starting preschool? There are no words that can adequately express how bittersweet these moments are for me. I love him so much and am so proud of the man that he has become and yet with each step he takes towards his independence my heart longs for those days when I could just scoop him up in my arms and smother his chubby little cheeks with mama kisses. He may no longer fit on my lap (not by a long shot) but he will NEVER outgrow my heart and I am thankful for the moments that I’ve had this month to celebrate and savor his birthday with him.

I am also thankful for the moments that I’ve had to savor this month with my oldest son who is now 20. One of those particularly savorable moments came when he and I spent one Saturday morning together volunteering with our local Red Cross chapter’s Home Fire Campaign. This is a program in which Red Cross staff & volunteers go out into vulnerable communities and install free smoke detectors for anyone who needs them. My son has volunteered for several of these installation events and it was so incredible for me to stand back and watch him take on a leadership role for such a worthwhile project. He was confident, engaging and a true representation of the Red Cross motto, “sleeves up, hearts open, all in”. What a joy it was for me to savor watching my son give back to his community when many other 20 year olds would’ve chosen to remain in bed on a Saturday morning.

2.) Lending a hand to those in need. The American Red Cross comes in to play with two of my savor worthy moments this month. First, I was able to work with my son on the Home Fire Campaign mentioned above and then, less than a week later, I was sent to Houston, Texas to help with the Red Cross flood disaster response operation. This experience was like none other that I’ve ever been through. To see the devastation left behind after a major flood was a real eye opener to me and to be involved in the recovery effort has impacted me in ways that I can’t even put into words. I have never seen so many committed volunteers work so hard for so long to help bring relief to those who so desperately needed it. Handing out food, setting up shelters, distributing comfort kits and clean up supplies, helping to assess damage…The American Red Cross team did so much for so many and I was humbled and blessed to be a part of it all. I was also incredibly moved and inspired by the bravery and resiliency shown by the residents of Houston. They say that everything is big in Texas, well, when it comes to the hearts and spirits of the people who live there, I’d say that is definitely true. I will always savor my memories of the small role that I got to play in helping to bring relief and hope to a hurting city.

3.) Having a ball. Anyone who has known me for more than five minutes knows that I absolutely LOVE baseball and softball. It is a passion that I inherited from my dad when I was around eight years old and something that still brings me great pleasure to this day. I am savoring the fact that with April comes that blessed event known as “Opening Day”. It’s the day when I always get spring fever (even if it is still snowing here in Colorado) and cross my fingers in the hopes that my favorite team (the New York Yankees of course!) will still be playing ball come late October/early November. This is also the time of year when my rec. league softball team, The Sons of Pitches gets together and starts playing again. We’re not very good (understatement of the year) but we sure know how to have fun. I also love the fact that baseball and softball provide so many fun opportunities for me to enjoy time with my hubby. He also plays on The Sons of Pitches so we get to have fun on the field together and he also is a huge baseball fan so we spend plenty of time curled up in bed together watching our favorite teams battle it out. He isn’t a big Yankees fan but he loves me so he has already purchased tickets for us to go to Coors Field this summer when the Yanks come to town. I savor these fun moments with my man and the happy memories that they help us to create.

4.) Crying with the doves. This month the world lost a musical icon and someone who (despite only being 5′ 2″) was larger than life. When I heard the news that Prince had passed away, I immediately felt like a part of my youth had been lost. I remember sneaking out to see the movie Purple Rain because my parents didn’t think that I was old enough for it and having Prince posters plastered all over my walls. Ever since hearing of his death, I’ve been playing more of his music (my favorites are When Doves Cry, Purple Rain and Baby I’m a Star) and savoring the memories of my early teen years when this unique, controversial and oh-so-talented man had such a powerful impact upon me and my friends.

April has had too many savor worthy moments to count but these four are the ones that have had the biggest impact on me. I hope that as you look back over your month, you are able to find those moments that were special to you as well and that you were able to embrace them and truly savor the FabYOUlousness that they brought to your life.

This month’s Fab Factor is HUMOR and that seems appropriate since we started the month off with April Fool’s Day and today (here in Colorado where I live) we are dealing with Mother Nature’s sense of humor as we dig out from a spring snowstorm (after it was in the high 70’s last week!)

Humor is a quality that is so endearing and yet often undervalued in today’s society. When I first met my husband, I knew right away that I was smitten. He was tall and handsome and kind and yet, there was something more that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. As I lay awake that night pondering the events of our first date, it occurred to me that I had spent a lot of the evening laughing. My hubby (though I didn’t quite have him pegged as my future husband just yet–that didn’t happen til around the 4th date–HA!) was genuinely funny. His sense of humor was so evident as he told me silly stories about him and his daughter and in his gentle teasing nature. I was dazzled by his looks, impressed with his manners and truly delighted by his sense of humor. Now, nearly nine years later, it is that same sense of humor that brings a sense of fun to our marriage and helps to keep me from getting too serious when work and family demands start to stress me out. He is still delighting me every single day, and though the dashing good looks and wonderful manners are still there–it is his humor that I find myself most drawn to.

The cool thing about humor is that not only does it bring more pleasure and enjoyment to life; it also provides real, tangible health benefits as well.

“Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.”

~Paul E. McGhee Ph.D

A powerful antidote to stress, conflict and pain; nothing works faster or more effectively to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. A healthy sense of humor and the ability to share a hearty laugh has immeasurable value when it comes to supporting physical, emotional and social well being.

Physical Benefits of Humor

-Prevents heart disease: Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against cardiovascular problems including heart attack.

-Boosts immunity: Laughter increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, while decreasing stress hormones, thus improving your resistance to disease.

-Fights pain: Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.

-Relaxes the body: A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.

Emotional Benefits of Humor

-Relaxes and recharges: A good sense of humor reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more.

-Releases distressing emotions: Simply put–you can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing.

-Shifts perspective: A humorous perspective creates psychological distance, which can help you to avoid feeling overwhelmed and allow you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light.

Social Benefits of Humor

-Improved relationships: All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing humor and play also adds joy, vitality, and resilience to relationships.

-Promotes spontaneity: Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles thus allowing you to be more “in the moment” and spontaneous.

-Tears down walls: Humor helps you to forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts. This allows you to see people for who they really are and connect on a more authentic level.

Despite the numerous benefits that humor can bring to our lives, there are still some people for whom humor doesn’t come naturally. Fortunately, humor is a trait that can be learned and cultivated–it just takes a little practice. If you tend to be someone who takes life a bit more seriously than necessary, try the following suggestions to incorporate more humor into your days…

Seven Fab-YOU-lous Ways to Add More Humor to Your Life…

1.) Hang out with fun, playful people. Humor is contagious. By spending time with people who know how to laugh (at themselves and at life), you will begin to see things more humorously as well. Watching as others incorporate more play into their lives will also help you to do the same. Who knows, maybe you can be the one to inspire your friends to more playfulness by inviting them over for a night of Drunken Jenga.

2.) Learn a few jokes: Everyone appreciates a good joke and everyone appreciates someone who can tell a good joke. You can be the one to brighten someone’s day with a chuckle just by having a few good jokes memorized. Here’s one to get you started–What’s the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snowballs!  Hahaha! Okay–it’s a little off color, but admit it–you laughed.

3.) Gravitate towards laughter: Sometimes humor and laughter are private, a shared joke among a small group, but that’s usually not the case. More often, people are very happy to share something funny because it gives them an opportunity to laugh again and feed off the humor that you find in it. When you hear laughter, seek it out and ask, “What’s so funny?”

4.) Surround yourself with reminders to lighten up: Keep a toy on your desk or in your car. Put up a funny poster in your office. Choose a computer screensaver that makes you laugh (mine is a Calvin & Hobbes cartoon). Frame photos of you and your family or friends having fun. All of these things will serve as reminders to you to keep things in perspective and celebrate the fun and humorous moments in life.

5.) Laugh at yourself: Laughing at others can be cruel, but laughing at yourself can be a great mood booster. When you can sense that you need to lighten up, remember–the best way to take yourself less seriously is to talk about times when you took yourself too seriously.

6.) Smile: Smiling is the beginning of laughter. Like laughter, smiling is contagious. Pioneers in “laugh therapy,” find that it is possible to laugh without even experiencing a funny event. The same holds for smiling. When you look at someone or see something even mildly pleasing, practice smiling–you’ll be amazed at how many smiles you’ll receive in return.

7.) Pay attention to children: Kiddos are naturals when it comes to humor and play. Just spending some time with little ones is sure to put a smile on your face and humor in your heart.

Humor, more than nearly any other attribute is one that can break down barriers, strengthen bonds, shift perspectives and bring more enjoyment to life. No wonder it makes the cut as one of our twelve Fab Factors for a FabYOUlous life.

If you regularly follow FabYOUlous Life, you know that my “word of the year” for 2016 is savor. If you are new to FabYOUlous Life, welcome! You can read about how and why I selected savor as my word by clicking here.

Because savor is my word, I’ve decided that I am going to post every month about some of the things, people, experiences etc. that I am savoring at that moment. I am hoping that these monthly posts will serve two purposes: 1.) to help me to slow down and think about the incredible, savor-worthy things that are happening in my life and 2.) to inspire you to do the same.

As I look back over my month so far, I have to say–it has been one outrageously incredible month. I mean–how often is it that one gets to enjoy a full week in Hawaii with family and NOT HAVE TO PAY FOR IT? Yep–you read that last part correctly…I just returned from spending a week in Hawaii (the island of Oahu to be exact) with my family because I won a national sweepstakes that paid for our trip. The prize included airfare, hotel accommodations for all of us, a dolphin swim excursion, sunset jazz cruise, Island bus tour, Lei greeting and a spectacular Luau (plus spending money, rental car and restaurant gift cards!) We were truly blessed to have won this once in a lifetime experience and I now have memories that I will savor for the rest of my days. Here are just a few of those savorable moments…

1.) A peaceful walk along the beach with my hubby. There was one afternoon on our trip when the kids decided to hang out at the hotel pool (our kids are 21, 20 and almost 18 so they are well past the age of needing babysitters) so Superman and I headed out on our own to explore a few beaches. At first we played in the surf at Sandy Beach but the waves were BIG that day. After getting knocked on our butts for a few hours (it was still a ton of fun), we decided to head to the other side of the island and enjoy the more peaceful surf of Kailua Beach. While we were there, we strolled the beach and wrote a few messages in the sand. As much as I adore my children, it was nice to enjoy a peaceful afternoon in paradise with just my hubby.

2.) An awesome Flight Attendant. One of our flight attendants on our flight from L.A. to Honolulu was just incredible. Her name was Pam and she was so nice. Not only did she do a great job carrying out her Flight Attendant duties, she also took the time to give us suggestions on restaurants near our hotel in Oahu. As I chatted more with Pam, I found out that though she lives in California, she has a college aged son who is playing baseball for a small private college in Kansas that is less than 20 miles from where I grew up and where my parents still live. It was such a joy to watch someone who so obviously enjoys her job and who does it so effortlessly. Once I arrived back home from our trip, I wrote a letter to the airline to tell them what a great job Pam did–hopefully that letter will find its way to her so that she will know just how much my family appreciated her kindness and excellent customer service.

3.) Swimming with Dolphins. One of our favorite Hawaii experiences was getting to swim with the dolphins at Sea Life Park. I’ve kissed giant sting-rays off the Cayman Islands but I’ve never been up close and personal with a dolphin before so this was quite an experience for me. We got to give the dolphins a smooch and then we each got to take turns riding the dolphins as they drug us through the water by their dorsal fins. It was such a fun experience, but as much fun as I was having, I think I had even more fun watching my boys enjoying themselves. The dolphins were so friendly and incredibly smart. It was thrilling to be in the pool with them as they jumped out of the water and did flips right in front of us. I was also particularly amused at some of the funny sounds that the dolphins made–in fact, some of the sounds sounded very similar to the sounds made by teenage boys–ha! This dolphin swim experience was truly a special moment and I will forever savor the memories that we made with our new, flippered friends

4.) The beaches. I’ve been to some beautiful beaches (Punta Cana, Grand Cayman, Sanibel, Coronado, Jamaica etc.) during my lifetime, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen beaches as beautiful as the ones in Hawaii. I especially loved the diversity of the different beaches from the big surf at Waimea to the gentle, lulling waves of Kailua. I also found it interesting that some of the beaches were rocky while others had soft, powder-like sand. Every beach that we visited was beautiful in its own way and I loved everything about them from the sounds of the waves crashing to the smell of the salt air. Spending so much time at the various beaches has convinced me that someday, I want to live near an ocean. Until that time comes however; I will just savor the memories of my week on some of the most beautiful beaches in the world.

5.) Watching the girls flirt up my oldest son. Okay–I’m sure that there were girls flirting with my youngest son too (they are both incredibly handsome young men) but for some reason I only witnessed the flirting when it was directed at my oldest. This was so funny for me as a mom to experience. I mean, yes, I know that my boy is a looker but holy cow girls…cool your jets! HAHAHA! I will always savor the memory of the look of embarrassment on my boy’s face when a beautiful girl flirted with him right (unbeknownst to her) in front of his mom. I know that my boy has game but it’s a little hard to get your game on when your mom is less than five feet away and watching the entire exchange. HAHAHA! On a side note: my boy CAN NOT WAIT to visit Hawaii without his mom in tow.

6.) Swimming to a waterfall. There is only one waterfall on the island of Oahu that it is legal to swim to. That fifty-foot fall is in Waimea Valley. It was a bit overcast on the day that we visited Waimea Valley but that didn’t stop me from wanting to swim in the fall. I can’t even describe how it felt to be swimming in the pool at the bottom of the fall, looking up at the water as it came rushing down from the rocks. I think that the overcast skies and cool water temperature kept other people from swimming to the fall but that was fine with me because it meant that I had the entire pool to myself (and c’mon…it wasn’t that cold–at least not for this Colorado girl.) I don’t know if or when I’ll ever have the opportunity to swim in a waterfall again so I will always savor the memory of that moment.

7.) Watching my son develop a love of photography. My oldest son got a nice camera for his twentieth birthday in January so (when he wasn’t busy being flirted with) he acted as our official trip photographer. It was so fun to watch him tinker around as he tried to get just the right shot. Most of the photos in this post are ones that I took with my iPhone but here are a few that my boy took with his nicer camera

8.)  Incredible memories with the people that I love most in this world. My children are no longer children. My step-daughter is 21, my oldest son is 20 and the baby of the family is almost 18. My husband and I know that it won’t be long before our nest is empty. That knowledge is one of the reasons that this vacation was so, so special to me. There are no words to adequately describe how grateful I am for having the opportunity to spend an entire week in paradise with the people that I treasure most in this world. Watching my kids enjoy themselves and each other was such a treat. Joining my boys on the Pillbox hike, watching my step-daughter play in the waves and dancing with my hubby on a sunset cruise will be memories that I will savor long into old age.

I realize that not everyone gets the opportunity to enjoy a free vacation to paradise but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have plenty of moments to savor in your daily life–you just have to be intentional about looking for them. Savor the cool evening air as you stop to fill up your car on the way home from work, savor the sound of your children laughing as you work in the kitchen preparing dinner, savor the aroma of your morning cup of coffee before you slurp it down. The more you look for opportunities to savor life–the more you will be sure to find them.

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. I love the smell of the turkey, mashed potatoes and desserts wafting from the kitchen and the enjoyment of family as the men huddle around to watch football and the ladies make jokes about the men. Mostly though, I love the way Thanksgiving focuses our attention upon all of the incredible blessings that we have to be thankful for. Things that we should be grateful for every day but oftentimes take for granted.

I hope that this Thanksgiving day finds you delighting in the sights, sounds, smells and TASTES of the holiday and that your heart is full as you count your many blessings. If however; you’re struggling this holiday season and not quite feeling the thankfulness vibe, please take heart and take a look around. Even when things are difficult, there are still so many wonderful things for which to be thankful.

In order to help jump-start a gratitude groove, I’ve compiled a list of 50 things to be thankful for. Not every item on this list may apply to your particular situation, but many will. Hopefully this list will serve as a springboard that will help you to take notice of the many blessings that you enjoy and as a reminder to celebrate these blessings every day.

50 Fab-YOU-lous Things to be Thankful for Today and EVERY Day

1.) The fact that you are alive to celebrate another Thanksgiving. Even if your health isn’t great–you’re here for one more day and that’s what matters. Make the most of the day.

2.) The seasons of the year, and of life. No matter what season you happen to be in at the moment, be thankful for the lessons that you have learned along the way and make the most of what each season has to offer.

3.) Your significant other. If you’re coupled, does your honey know just how much you love and appreciate him/her? Thanksgiving is a perfect time to show them how special they are to you.

4.) Your kiddos Even if they are teenagers…ha! Yes, they give us grey hair and wrinkles before our time, but no matter how big or little they may be, they will always be our babies.

5.) Extended family Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins…these people all share an important part of your heritage.

6.) Food in your belly. It doesn’t matter if it’s turkey or tofu. If you are fortunate enough to have a full belly this Thanksgiving, you are blessed beyond measure.

7.) Friends. Where would we be without our “broad squad”?

8.) A roof over your head. It doesn’t have to be fancy to be home.

9.) The ability to read. If you can read this post, you are more fortunate than over one billion adults (two thirds of which are women) in this world who are illiterate.

10.) Kittens. Okay, maybe you’re not a cat person, if that’s the case you can be thankful for puppies or hamsters or baby guppies. It’s hard to come up with a creature that isn’t adorable as a baby…except spiders. Spiders are always creepy.

11.) Music. Good music is good for the soul.

12.) The ability to see. The faces of family members, holiday lights, the fire in the fireplace, snow covered mountains…this time of year offers so many wonderful sights. If you are able to enjoy these sights you are truly blessed.

13.) Technology. Yes, sometimes it’s a nuisance (when it isn’t working correctly) but for the most part, technology makes our lives SO much easier.

14.) Work. Even if you don’t just love your job, I guarantee that there is an unemployed person who would love to have it. Be thankful for your work and the opportunities that it provides.

15.) Lost loved ones. Thanksgiving always makes me miss my grandparents SO much. Still, I am so thankful for the years that I had with them and the many happy memories that I treasure.

16.) Living in freedom. As an American citizen, I know that the freedoms that I enjoy on a daily basis did not come cheap. Brave men & women have sacrificed their lives in service to our country in order for me to live in comfort and safety. I will always be grateful for that sacrifice and for those who continue to serve.

17.) Indoor plumbing. I share a house with three big men. I am thankful for toilets that flush. Enough said.

18.) Warm socks. Nothing beats the feeling of soft, warm socks on cold, tired feet.

19.) Laughter. It truly is the best medicine and one of the best ways to solidify a bond between people.

20.) Nature. It’s beautiful and untamed.

21.) Your car, bicycle, moped, skateboard, pogo stick. If your car started this morning, be thankful. If your pogo stick bounced, be thankful.

22.) Smarts. We all have different types of intelligences. You are smart in your own unique way. Be thankful for that.

23.) Tears. They can be cleansing and offer healing. Don’t fight them when they come. Embrace them and be thankful for them.

24.) Ice cream. This one doesn’t really need an explanation, does it?

25.) Grocery stores. We do not have to go out and hunt down our food. We just have to brave the crazed masses in search of green beans for their green bean casserole.

26.) First responders. We hope that we never need them, but if we do, it’s good to know that they’ll be there.

27.) Internet. It makes it so much easier to stay in touch with far away loved ones.

28.) Little kids. Whether they are our own or someone else’s, little kids just make everything more fun.

29.) The clothes on your back. Unless you live in a nudist colony, you likely have some clothing. They don’t have to be designer brands–if they are comfy and warm, they are a blessing.

30.) Sunshine. It provides warmth to the world and a shot of vitamin D to the body.

31.) Rainy days. Perfect for snuggling up with a good book and a cat.

32.) Snow days. Perfect for snuggling up with a good book, a cat and a mug of hot cocoa.

33.) A warm bed. Many people don’t have a bed to lie down in. If you do, you are truly blessed.

34.) Good books. They can take us places in our mind that we may never be able to go in real life.

35.) An education. You may have complained about going to class as a kid, but there are many in this world who would do anything to have that opportunity.

36.) The right to change your mind. Very rarely are things truly set in stone. If there is something that you no longer agree with, change it.

37.) A purpose. Every individual on this planet was born with a purpose–including you. If you don’t know what yours is, you can enjoy a wonderful exploration of your gifts, talents and passions to discover it.

38.) Connection to a higher power. Whether you use the term God, spirit, universe etc. there is something bigger than all of us that connects us and provides direction and perspective.

39.) Nice people. Despite what the news would have you believe, most people on this planet are genuinely nice and willing to lend a helping hand.

40.) The month long holiday season. It provides an opportunity to enjoy time with family and friends, celebrate the joy of the season and be a blessing to others.

41.) Helpful organizations. The American Red Cross, American Cancer Society, Make a Wish Foundation, Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research…there are so many worthy causes doing incredibly important work on behalf of those who suffer. Be thankful for the services that these organizations provide and offer them your support if you are able.

42.) Holiday television specials. It just wouldn’t be the holidays without Peanuts, “A Christmas Story”, “Elf” and “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer”.

43.) Mistakes. Yes, we should even be thankful for our mistakes as they are some of the best teachers that we will ever encounter.

44.) Hobbies. Whether it is knitting, fantasy football, cooking or golf, be thankful for the activities that bring you pleasure.

45.) The stars in the night sky. Let them serve to remind you how vast and beautiful the universe is.

46.) Art. Whether it is sculpture, watercolor, music or theater, be thankful for the enrichment that art brings into your life.

47.) Other cultures. The world would be so boring if we were all the same. Embrace cultural differences and be thankful for the variety that it brings to your life.

48.) Elected officials Okay–this one might be a stretch but if you can’t be thankful for your government officials, at least be thankful that you live in a democratic society where you have the right to cast your vote.

49.) Your value to other people. Whether you feel like it or not, you are important to other people. Your family members love you, your employer depends upon you, your friends enjoy your company. Be thankful for the positive impact that you have on these individuals and be thankful for their impact on you as well.

50.) Your ability to dream about and create a better life for yourself. You alone have the ability to take the reins in your life and create the life of your dreams. Be thankful for your creativity, purpose and talents. These attributes can combine in amazing ways to help you create your most FabYOUlous life yet.

As a child, I was blessed to have grown up in a very close knit family. My mom and dad loved my brother and I and they loved each other. Additionally, I grew up with the tremendous blessing of having all four of my grandparents nearby and very involved in my upbringing. Despite some craziness during my teenage years (for which I will now and forever blame *Buddy Kittle–I’m pretty sure he won’t ever read this, so it’s safe to blame him–ha!) I grew up blissfully unaware of the difficult challenges that many families faced. Oh sure, I’m sure that mom and dad had their moments of wanting to strangle each other (as all married couples experience from time to time) and lord knows that they had plenty of moments of wanting to strangle me–but overall, we were a happy and for the most part functional family.

As a child and teenager, I took my nice, stable, loving family life for granted. As an adult however; I now have a much greater appreciation for the sacrifices and efforts that my parents made on a daily basis to ensure that my brother and I grew up in a secure and loving environment. A supportive family unit is so crucial to the emotional well being of every member of the family. If there is strife between members, every individual in that family suffers as a result.

If you are feeling as though your family isn’t as close as you’d like or maybe you’re just a little out of sync these days, keep the following points in mind to help strengthen that all important familial bond…

1.) Labels Hurt. Most of us can look at our own families and immediately identify that one family member who is always getting into trouble. For me, that family member is my brother. HA HA! Okay–I’m lying. I’ll confess that I was the family member who was more prone to pushing the limits, breaking the rules and getting into trouble (thanks a lot *Buddy Kittle!) While I like to think that I was just a bit more spirited and headstrong, I’m sure that the word “troublemaker” was on the tips of everyone’s tongues during my teenage years.

How about you? What labels have stuck with you? Are you “the quiet one” or maybe “the showoff”? Perhaps you were “the smart one” who then felt pressured to maintain a ridiculous GPA or “the pretty one” who fell into a depression whenever a rogue pimple appeared. Yes–over time, even seemingly positive labels can have a negative effect on our self esteem if the pressure to live up to the label becomes too burdensome.

Labeling our family members is dangerous because it prevents us from seeing and appreciating their full range of FabYOUlousness and instead confines them to predetermined boxes with a set list of expectations. It simply isn’t fair to ascribe a single faceted label to a brilliant, multi-faceted human being.

2.) Time is a Treasure. I know, I know…we all know that we need to turn off the television and spend more quality time with our family members, but how many of us actually do it? How many of us miss our son’s football games because we are too wrapped up in a project at work (I’m guilty of this one myself) or how many of us hear about our child’s first steps or first words from the nanny rather than experiencing them firsthand?

As a mom with a full time job, I get it. The pressure to be a good parent and successful professional is immense and exhausting. Still…making our family a priority and then working our schedules to reflect our priorities is a juggling skill that we must try to master. Maybe we can’t make it to every football game, but do we at least make the effort to personally connect with our child to hear first hand how the game went and how they felt about their individual performance? Maybe we missed our little one’s first steps but do we make every effort to ensure that we make a big deal out of her second and third steps?

The time that we spend together as a family doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive. A simple game of Uno or Jenga (or better yet–Jenga with a Twist) around the kitchen table can forge bonds that will last forever. It is important that we savor every moment that we can with our families because years have a way of slipping away in the blink of an eye. Before you know it, your sweet little four year old will be cruising Main Street on the back of *Buddy Kittle’s motorcycle while wearing a toga. Don’t let those years pass without forging plenty of happy memories and supportive bonds.

3.) Knowledge is Power. How well do you really know your family members? Can you name your teenage son’s favorite band or the position he plays in football? Do you know if the fella your daughter is dating is any relation to *Buddy Kittle? Do you know what book your spouse is currently reading? We live with our family members and think about them numerous times throughout the day but how well do we really know them? Make the effort now to really start listening to your family members and paying attention to their interests, hopes, fears and aspirations. I cannot imagine anything sadder than having a family full of strangers; so whether you eat dinner together three times a week or spend a lot of time driving your kids around to activities, use that time together as a chance to learn more about the things that are important in their worlds–you might be surprised at some of the interesting things you learn.

4.) Have FUN. When was the last time you and your family had a genuinely good time doing something fun together? If you have to stop and think about the answer to this question, it has been TOO LONG. Grab a frisbee, head to a water park, work on a jigsaw puzzle…just do something together with your family that is FUN. It is so easy to slip into a soul sucking routine of waking up, dashing off to work/school, coming home, eating take-out, doing homework, vegging in front of the TV, going to bed and waking up to do it all over again…day after day after day. Is it any wonder that our family life is suffering from a lack of connection and enthusiasm? Try breaking out of this dull, hamster-wheel of an existence by infusing your family time with a little fun. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive (though we are big proponents of family vacations), just something to get everyone laughing and relaxing together. These simple moments of shared enjoyment will be moments that form your family’s most cherished memories.

With a little concentrated effort and a dash of creativity, your family life can go from drab to FAB and every member will benefit tremendously from the added attention and affection. For more ideas on how to add more FabYOUlousness to your family life click here.

*Disclaimer–just in case Buddy Kittle does ever read this, I feel like I should point out that even though I got into more trouble as a result of Buddy’s high school hijinx, I also had more FUN with him than any person should be allowed to have. I guess it’s all just a matter of perspective.

Please don’t call the authorities…I really do love my teenagers (with all of my heart!) and would never ever want any harm to come to them.  My boys are the absolute joys of my life and are by far my proudest accomplishment.  They are however, teens and with that comes a whole new set of rules for an entirely different ballgame.

As a mom to two teenage sons, of course there are times when I get nostalgic and miss the days when I could just scoop up my babies and smother them with kisses while they giggled and wriggled in my arms.  I get a lump in my throat every time I browse through their baby pics and see their pudgy little baby bellies and cherubic toddler grins.  I miss the days when I, as their mama, was the center of their universe and they delighted in my love and affection.

Those days are gone.  My boys are now far more men than boys.  They tower over me so much that I’d be intimidated by their size–if I wasn’t 100% convinced that they’d both absolutely use their size to shield and protect me if ever it was necessary.  Their universe is expanding so no longer am I the center of it but instead, I’m more like the earth to them–solid, steady and grounding. Yes–I sometimes ache for the days when I could pull them into my lap and make them laugh with silly knock knock jokes and yet I must confess…there are few things in this world that feel better than having one of my BIG boys wrap me up in a bear hug or yell “love ya mom” as they dash out the door to catch up with their friends.  They are growing into adulthood and though my role as their mama has certainly changed over the years, it is no less important now than it was when they were my babies.

It’s hard though, this job of parenting teens.  No longer can I just give them “the look” and have it work as discipline nor can I bribe them into good behavior with the promise of an ice cream cone (well okay–in all honesty, that one still works sometimes.)  They have now become experts in the art of debate and it can be exasperating.  They find ways every day to push the limits and test the boundaries.  They screw up in ways that make me shake my head and wonder how on earth I could’ve given birth to such ridiculousness…but then they succeed…and oh–when they succeed my heart utterly soars with pride and love.

No, parenting teenagers is definitely not for the faint of heart.  There are battles, rolling eyes, silent treatments and frustration.  There is also however, an abundance of heartfelt laughter, good late night conversation and a deepening sense of respect and appreciation.  I’m no expert at parenting (not by a long shot) but by some miracle, my boys are turning into strong, capable and (most importantly in my book) kind young men.  I’ve done a lot of reading from parenting experts (if there truly even is such a thing) and have discovered a few tips for parenting teens that I have found to be especially helpful.  If you yourself are in the trenches and dealing with the ups and downs of raising teenagers, I hope that this information offers you some hope and encouragement.

Tips for Raising Teens without Losing Your Mind

1.)  LOVE them:  One of the most important things that you can do for your teenager is to LOVE them and give them positive attention and affection. Maybe they don’t fit on your lap anymore but they DO fit in your arms.  Hug them, high-five them, kiss them. They may be big but they are still your child and they thrive on parental love and attention. Don’t skimp on this just because they are bigger–affection is something we never outgrow.

2.)  Don’t freak out if your teen isn’t just like you were when you were a teen:  It’s so hard not to place expectations upon our children based upon our own experiences of life.  If we were a jock in high school it might be difficult for us to understand why our child wants to join the marching band instead of going out for football.  If we were class president, it might be challenging for us to relate to our child who prefers more solitary activities like reading or drawing. The teenage years however are geared to help our children become their own individuals with their own unique thoughts, preferences, beliefs and desires. It is important that we as parents, step back and let our children discover their own identities (there’s even a technical term for this–individuation) without imposing too many of our own expectations upon them. Yes, have high standards when it comes to grades, behavior, etc. but allow your teen the freedom to experiment with new activities, hobbies, tastes etc.  They might just discover a new passion that leads them to an incredibly fulfilling and FabYOUlous future.

3.)  Make expectations crystal clear:  As a mom to two teens, I’ve learned that if there is any wiggle room in a rule–that rule will get wiggled to death. I learned this when I told my youngest that he needed to be home by a set curfew time. The curfew time came and went without any sign of my boy.  I called his cell phone which was of course dead and started to panic.  Forty-five minutes later he came sauntering into the house and was shocked that I was so angry because he had (by his definition) been home the entire time. What I had failed to explain was that I considered home to be HOME–as in inside the house. He however interpreted home to mean anywhere on our premises; therefore he was technically home when he was hanging out in front of our house in his buddy’s car.  This miscommunication could have been avoided had I done a better job of clearly spelling out my expectations.

Here are some suggestions from parenting experts at the Mayo Clinic to help avoid any confusion when laying out your expectations to your teen: Avoid Ultimatums (teens often interpret ultimatums as challenges), Be Clear and Concise (Keep your rules short and to the point–this allows for less misinterpretation), Put Rules in Writing (this will help to do away with moments of “selective memory” on the part of your teen), Explain if Necessary (your teen might be more likely to comply with a rule if he/she understands the reasoning behind it), Be Reasonable (avoid setting rules that your teen can’t possibly follow–a chronically messy teen might struggle to immediately maintain a spotless bedroom), Be Flexible (as your teen demonstrates more responsibility and reliability, grant him/her more freedom.  If your teen exhibits poor judgement, impose more restrictions).

 4.)  Balance freedom with guidance:  Micromanaging your teen’s choices will only reinforce to him/her that you don’t trust him/her to make good decisions independently.  It can be a fine line to walk when learning to balance the right amount of freedom while still providing plenty of guidance, but it can be done. Make sure that you provide your teen with plenty of opportunities to practice the skills and discernment that you’ve taught him/her but also let him/her experience the natural consequences when he/she messes up.  Over time, your teen will develop increased confidence in his/her ability to make wise and healthy choices.

5.) Discipline from a place of love–not anger:  As a parent to teens it is bound to happen–they are going to do something that flat-out makes you MAD.  When you are angry however; it is not the right time to make decisions regarding discipline because over reacting and lashing out at your teen can cause resentment and stonewalling.  Instead; it is important to skip the drama and take some time to settle down before dishing out the discipline.  Once both parties are calmer, it is important to give a full explanation as to why the behavior was unacceptable and what the consequences will be.  Be sure to reprimand the behavior not the person and do so without using sarcasm or being condescending.  It is also important that you not discipline your child in front of their friends.  When imposing restrictions on your teen, consider taking away a privilege or possession that’s meaningful to him/her (cellphone, car, computer time etc.) You might even ask your teen to suggest a consequence–with the understanding that you get the final say. Whatever disciplinary tactic you decide upon, it is imperative that you maintain consistency and that you relate the consequences to the broken rule and deliver them in a timely fashion.

6.) Model the kind of behavior that you want your teen to exhibit:  It goes without saying that teens learn more from what their parents do than what they say.  It will be difficult for a teen to take seriously a parent’s rules about not smoking when the parent has a pack-a-day habit.  On the flip-side, your teen will learn a great deal about confidence if he/she sees you facing new situations with courage and confidence while demonstrating the importance of self acceptance.  As a parent, you are your teen’s primary role model.  Be sure that you take that role seriously and live your life in such a way that it demonstrates strength of character to your teen.

7.)  ENJOY them: Yes, teens can be challenging but they can also be so much FUN.  I know that it is important to remember that we, as parents, are not our teen’s friends–however; I must confess that I truly do enjoy the time that I get to spend hanging out with my boys. No, I don’t go with them to parties nor do I tag along when they are on dates with their girlfriends (though in both instances I do wait up for them to get home).  I do however go out to eat with my boys and enjoy other fun activities like going to movies and concerts with them. In fact, just last summer my husband and I went to Motley Crue’s final tour with my oldest son and one of his buddies and we had a BLAST.  My boys and I are also planning to do a hike up Horsetooth Rock (a natural landmark here in northern Colorado) now that the weather is warming up.  These times spent with my sons not only provide me with wonderful opportunities to catch up on the important things that are going on in their lives–they are also just plain fun.  Now that my boys are older, their personalities, intellects and senses of humor are more developed and I truly enjoy our conversations. They might deny it–but I know that they enjoy our time together too.  So no…my boys and I are not friends–I am still their mom and therefore their chief disciplinarian–but we are becoming more and more friendly which is laying a great foundation for a continued solid relationship in the future.

Teens will always march to the beat of their own drums and test boundaries–that’s what they’re supposed to do and that’s how they gain the skills and confidence to become healthy, successful adults. By balancing discipline and guidance with lots of love, patience and HUMOR, parents can make the most of their child’s teen years and ensure a FabYOUlously rewarding relationship.

I love my kids more than anything in this universe and yet sometimes I feel like they are literally sucking the life right out of me. I mean, it probably isn’t as bad now that they are teenagers as it was when they were toddlers (thankfully they no longer need my help to go potty) but still…I find myself giving so much of my time, energy, emotions and MONEY to my children that I often feel like I have little left over for myself.

The crazy thing is though–I almost feel like this “Martyr Mom” syndrome is something that we moms wear as a badge of honor. I’ve been to playgroups where it felt like there was some kind of twisted competition going on to see which mom was the most exhausted, overextended and frazzled and then for some insane reason, that mom was dubbed the winner because obviously she was the one sacrificing the most for her beloved offspring.

Hello?!? Exhausted, overextended and frazzled ARE NOT FabYOUlous. Exhausted, overextended and frazzled SUCK.

Yes–being a good mom can voraciously consume every spare ounce of our energy and time..if we allow it to. However; we can also make the conscious choice to not allow motherhood to become a total immersion experience from which we emerge eighteen years later, bleary eyed, dazed and clueless as to what our own dreams and passions are.

Obviously, I’m not suggesting that we neglect our children. I’m simply suggesting that we not neglect ourselves either. Our children grow and thrive because they receive our love and attention. Let’s stop considering it selfish to spread a little of that love and attention to our own dreams, desires and self care. Instead, let’s consider the fact that it just might be healthy and empowering for our children to see their mothers as capable, accomplished women who value their own physical and mental health and who understand that the only way to truly care for others is to first care for one’s self. Let’s (as the trusty flight attendant always tells us) make sure that our own oxygen mask is firmly in place before we attend to our children, because let’s face it–what good are we to our kids if we’re slumped over, deprived of oxygen, rest and rejuvenation?

We must begin this quest for balance by getting smart and strategic. We must develop strategies to help us better manage our children so that they consume less of our time and energy and yet still get every bit of what they need from us. In order to help us accomplish this goal, here are Four FabYOUlous Tips for Nurturing Your Children and Your Dreams

1.) Fool them with FUN:  It’s no surprise that 80% of parental energy goes into things like nagging children to finish their homework, get dressed for school, clear the dishes, feed the dog etc. However; just as we can often fool our kiddos into eating their veggies when we combine them into other tasty dishes; we can also fool our kids into doing their required chores if we get a little bit creative and add some fun to the mix. For example, I used to have a terrible time getting my youngest son to cooperate in getting himself dressed for school. This all changed one day when I decided to time him to see how fast he could do it. Something about turning it into a competition suddenly spurred him into action and he got himself dressed faster than I even dreamed could be possible (I later discovered that his speediness was due in part to the fact that he would just skip putting on his underpants–but that’s a story for another time). Then, each consecutive morning, I would challenge him to see if he could beat his previous record. This simple, silly tweak turned our grueling morning routine into something fun and filled with laughter. It also helped to ensure that he was sent off to school with a smile on his face while I retained a small portion of my sanity.

Though they will never admit it, children secretly crave management that holds them to a higher standard. They need rules and consequences in order to gradually build a framework for self management. Adding an element of fun to the mix is a great way to ensure that this foundation for self reliance is being laid in a manner that is enjoyable for everyone involved.

2.) Make your passions a regular part of the routine:  I’ve discovered (through a lot of trial and error) that if there is something that is important to me and I make a regular and consistent time for it in my life, my children will eventually learn to accept it as a normal part of our routine. Whether it is working out, writing, studying or simply enjoying a luxurious bubble bath; consistently scheduling time for ourselves can work as long as our children’s needs are met, expectations are made clear and we are consistent both in our scheduling and our expectations. It’s crazy, but I’ve learned that when there is simply no other option other than to cooperate–my boys cooperate. Maybe not at first, but with enough consistency and reinforcement, I have been able to establish set blocks of time that are my time to do my thing with limited interruption. Now that my boys are teenagers and much more self sufficient, this is no longer an issue. When they were younger however, routines and consistency were a key component to me being able to progress on some of my key goals and aspirations.

3.) Establish a Kid-Free Zone:  It used to drive me CRAZY to enter into my at-home work area (at the time it was just a corner of a room where I had my computer set up and a small bookshelf) and step on a lego or find candy bar wrappers on the floor (especially when there was a waste basket less than two feet away). So, to combat the crazies, I made a rule that no kids were to enter mom’s “office” without her consent. Of course I made exceptions for emergencies (after clearly defining what exactly constituted an emergency) but for the most part, I wanted my work area to be kid-free. In order to make this edict more palatable to my boys, I also encouraged them to have a mom-free zone (a corner of our basement that they turned into a clubhouse of sorts). They liked the idea of having an area where they could go to be boys (mind you–they were four and six at this time so I didn’t have to worry about them doing anything too outrageous) and I enjoyed knowing that my paperwork wouldn’t be covered in chocolatey fingerprints–it was a true win-win scenario.

4.) Have easily enforceable rules:  Even though I had my “office” that was a kid-free zone, this became a more difficult space to manage as my boys got older. Often, they would need to go online for school and our only computer was in my “office”. In order to maintain some semblance of order in my area, I created a list of rules that my (now older) boys needed to follow in order to make use of my space. These rules can vary depending upon each person’s preferences but I especially disliked dirty dishes and litter in my space so that became a part of my rule system. I also established limits for non-school related computer use. In order to make these rules seem more credible to my boys, I typed them up and posted them where they would see them each time they entered my space. I also made it clear what consequences would result if the rules were broken and I was consistent with those consequences. Now that my boys are older, they both have their own laptops and rarely need to use my computer. I know though that they still think twice before interrupting me if they see me working in my space.

By establishing clear parameters and expectations with my children, I have been able to advance my own passions and ambitions a great deal while still maintaining a loving and nurturing relationship with my boys. I don’t feel as though this makes me selfish at all. Instead, I have seen the benefits that my boys have been able to reap as the result of having a happy, well rested and passionately engaged mom. I hope that they have also learned the value of following one’s bliss and working to achieve important goals so that they will be able to continue doing so once they themselves become parents. It’s a delicate dance and it doesn’t always go as planned but it is possible to nurture your own FabYOUlous dreams and desires while also loving and nurturing your family. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the Martyr Mom trap–make self care a priority as you learn to cultivate your own FabYOUlousness.