Who’s in Your Posse?

We all have a posse. Maybe we don’t ride around on horses yelling “yee-haw” together, but we all have those people in our lives that we regularly surround ourselves with. Some members of my posse include my hubby, my girlfriends (also affectionately known as my “broad squad”), my parents and some work associates. These people play a part in my life that is more than just the casual acquaintance.

I’ve heard it said that we will all be judged by the company we keep. That is precisely why I do the very best that I can to surround myself with good people. I also preach this bit of truth to my sons because I think that the people that we associate with can do one of two things for us–they can either lift us higher or they can drag us down. I’ve had both types of people in my life and I’ve learned the hard way how difficult it can be to escape from those individuals whose purpose it seems to be to suck the life out of everyone around them. I’ve also learned how damaging to ones reputation and psyche it can be if one spends too much time in the company of people with questionable character or who are emotionally unstable.

I think that our closest circle of friends is a direct reflection of our own inner selves. I also believe that our closest associations can have a huge impact on shaping us into the people that we become–good or bad. Therefore, I think that it is SO important for us to pick and choose wisely when it comes to letting people into our FabYOUlous inner circle.

How about you? Who is in your posse? Do you have positive, upbeat people in your corner who will cheer you to success? Do the people that you spend time with make you want to be a better person, or do they drag you down to a level where you’d rather not be? Do they encourage your dreams and offer wisdom as you pursue them, or do they try to stifle your FabYOUlousness in order to keep you from shining brighter than they do? Do they help you to improve aspects of your life that are important to you, or do they thwart your attempts at self growth? As I stated earlier, I’ve had relationships with both kinds of people and I can assure you that surrounding yourself with positive, successful, compassionate and generous people will make a HUGE difference in your own life. You can’t be around people like that without having some of their sparkle rub off on you (and who doesn’t want more sparkle??) Unfortunately; the same is also true for negative, lazy, greedy, dishonest, crazy people. The more you associate with those types, the more you’ll start to think that you yourself are crazy, or worse, you’ll find yourself sinking to their level of incompetence.

Sometimes it can be excruciatingly hard to break away from people who are no good for us (trust me on this one–I’m an EXPERT!) but the break is absolutely necessary if we are ever going to truly live the FabYOUlous lives that we have been created to live. I saw a quote one time that I loved. I don’t know who originally said it but it says “I’m making some changes in my life so if you don’t hear from me, you can assume that you are one of them.”

Now, I suppose this might be a little harsh for some–but at the same time, we must be absolutely diligent about protecting ourselves from the influence of people who are no good for us. Maybe you can’t exactly remove a person from your life all together (especially if that person is a family member or coworker) but you DO have the authority to limit your exposure to them. Exercise that authority and do it with the knowledge that you are doing so in an effort to create an even more FabYOUlous life for yourself.

As we think about the people who make up our posses, we would be remiss if we didn’t also think about the influence that we have upon those individuals. Our friends and family members deserve to be supported and uplifted just as much as we do, so it is our job to make sure that we are doing our part to share our FabYOUlousness with them as well. Surround yourself with people who lift you up–but don’t be the dead weight that keeps them down. I love to envision a water fountain that sprays support, love and encouragement to those close enough to to be caught in the spray. How much better it is to be the fountain than it is to be the drain that does nothing but suck the joy and FabYOUlousness out of the people who mean the most to us.

Sometimes when I talk about this subject, people misunderstand and think that what I’m suggesting sounds snobbish. I don’t agree with this assessment. I don’t believe that it is snobbish to only associate with certain types of people if we do it with the right intentions. I am not a snob; I am however, selective. I only have so much time and emotional energy to expend and I don’t want to spend those precious resources on people who aren’t going to be good for me. I know the kind of FabYOUlous person that I aspire to be and I want to surround myself with people who will support and believe in my greatest vision of myself. We may be called to love everyone and that’s fine…I just happen to believe that when it comes to the people who suck the life out of us, it is entirely possible (and advisable) to love them from AFAR.

So how about you? What is the makeup of your posse? Spend this week thinking about the people that you spend most of your time with. Are these people a reflection of the kind of person that you yourself want to be? Do they offer encouragement, support and wisdom? Do they have big visions for their own lives and want you to be a part of that vision? If not, it might be time for a little posse pruning. Yes–it can sometimes be a painful process, but having the right kinds of relationships with the right kinds of people can make a HUGE difference in the quality of your life–and someone as FabYOUlous as you deserves nothing but the best!

Evaluating the quality of your relationships is one way to elevate the quality of your life, but you also need to be fully energized and have a good understanding of your core desires and beliefs. Click the box below to access two FREE ebooks that will help you to accomplish just that…