Do you know what to look for when it comes to picking the ideal romantic partner?  Do you know the qualities that are truly important when seeking to establish a lasting relationship?  

I’ll admit–I haven’t always been great at picking winners when it comes to love.  I’ve fallen for great looks/no brains, charming personality/no job, great job/self-absorbed…you get the picture.  It wasn’t until my first marriage fell apart that I finally took the time to look at the qualities that truly mattered to me in a partner.

When it comes to weddings, I’m pretty traditional. I prefer unity candles over the newly popular sand ceremonies and I have no issues with a woman taking her husband’s last name. I always get teary when the preacher finally says “you may kiss your bride” and I adore cute little flower girls and ring bearers. I also appreciate the simplicity and sincerity of the traditional wedding vows where husbands and wives promise to love each other for better or worse, through sickness and in health and for richer or for poorer. I do however feel that these vows lack a bit of practicality when it comes to actually living with and loving one person for the rest of your life. Though I recited these very traditional vows myself when I married my Superman, I now feel like they were somewhat insufficient and I have a few additions that I would now include…

Wow–I wrote that headline, but as I read it, even I think that it sounds a bit harsh.  I feel like I need to insert a disclaimer here to explain just how much I truly do love and adore my husband. He is my rock and I absolutely, fully intend to spend the rest of my days on this earth loving him and only him. I love him completely, faithfully and absolutely. I do not however love him unconditionally.

Now, before you label me as cold hearted (I’m not) or decide that I lack an appreciation for romance (I don’t); let me explain to you why I think that my relationship with my husband is better because we don’t love each other unconditionally and why hearing someone say that they love their significant other unconditionally makes me want to cringe.