Create Space

Get Off the Hamster Wheel of Busyness

846f76_0c4555f25cc745408548247780f76d82Busyness. Why are we (and by we, I mean ME) so addicted to it?

Why do we feel like we have to constantly be busy as a way of proving our personal worth or justifying our right to exist?

We juggle careers, families, social obligations, volunteer work and a myriad of other things–all for the sake of feeling like we are “good enough” or in the hopes that others will take some kind of notice of our accomplishments. We feel as though being “busy” somehow proves just how important we are and we wear our exhaustion like it’s some kind of twisted badge of honor.

Why do we do this? What exactly do we get as a result of all of this busyness?

For me, the answer is exhaustion, burn out, frustration and overwhelm.

I am blessed to be a naturally high-energy person, and yet there are still times when I find myself wiped out (sometimes even to the point of physical illness) from going a few too many rounds on the hamster wheel of life. I’ve learned the hard way that burning the candle at both ends simply means that you burn out a whole lot faster. Fortunately, I’ve also learned (out of a desperate fight for self-preservation) that there are ways to combat this insidious culture of busyness. The sanity saving strategy that works best for me when things get a bit too chaotic is to step back and create space in six key areas of my life: my physical environment, my relationships, my emotional health, my thought-life, my finances and my spirituality.

By making the effort to create space in my life, I not only prevent the inevitable physical and emotional collapse that too much busyness precipitates; I also create an environment in which creativity, connection and serendipity can work together to bring about greater opportunities in my life. I am confident that the same will hold true for you.

10 Attributes of a Fab-YOU-lously Wealthy Life

That DON'T Require any Money

ebf657ad92bd4445a1bf065da2906887

We’ve all heard the saying “money can’t buy happiness” and like it or not–it’s true.  I personally know several people with exorbitant amounts of money who are miserable and I also know a few people who are financially destitute and yet, truly happy.  I for one,would prefer to have exorbitant financial wealth and a happy heart–two things that I believe to be entirely possible.  However; as someone who has been both, a struggling single mom and a successful professional woman, the biggest lesson that I’ve learned about money is that having more money doesn’t make life better, it simply makes us more of what we already are. If we are happy, joyful and generous individuals to start out–more money will simply enable us to be more happy, joyful and generous. If, on the other hand, we are greedy, grumpy and mean–more money will just provide us with opportunities to be more greedy, grumpy and mean.  

This tells me that it isn’t money that leads to a life of FabYOUlousness, rather it is a combination of other factors that leads to a truly wealthy life.

Putting the Power of Gratitude to work in Your Life

5a37aeb948474bd888d20b2392be625f

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness is nothing new. Mainstream media has been touting its benefits for years (thank you Oprah!) and long term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in all areas of personal well being. In fact, researchers at the University of California, San Diego have shown that an attitude of gratitude can help to ease chronic stress which leads to improved immune function and a reduction in unhealthy inflammation in the body.

Unfortunately, despite the many proven benefits of gratitude, it can still be a difficult mindset to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives rather than appreciating our many blessings. We get so caught up in the yuck of life that we barely take the time to notice all of the good that we are blessed with.

This is why practicing an attitude of gratitude makes sense. Football players practice their sport to improve their odds of winning. Flute players practice their instrument so that they can produce the most beautiful music, kindergartners practice tying their shoes in order to stop tripping over their laces. The only way that we can become better at something is to practice it. The only way that gratitude will meet its full potential in our lives is if we practice it so that it, in time, becomes a habit.

When talking about gratitude, it is important to remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more of a matter of choosing where to put our focus and attention. Clearly, pain and injustice exist in this world–no one is denying that, but when we focus instead on the positive aspects of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and provides a sense of hopefulness. I also believe with all of my heart that the more I express gratitude for the positive things in my life, the universe answers by providing me with even more things to feel grateful for.

Don’t worry though-even if an attitude of gratitude isn’t your natural bent, you can still learn to cultivate more gratitude into your life and therefore experience its benefits…we all can. All it takes is a little (you guessed it) practice.

Seven FabYOUlous Steps for Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude.

Happy New Year in July!

Six Tips for Creating Your Most Fab-YOU-lous Year Yet

846f76_2ee076316c7b422f9b0c1324619e6960You’ve heard of “Christmas in July” right? Well how about New Years in July?

Yeah yeah, I know. New Year’s Day is in January. We’re supposed to think about resolutions, fresh starts and goal setting in January not July…right? WRONG!

I love the idea of saying goodbye to the old year and welcoming in the new year in January when I hang up my fresh new calendar that is so full of hope and possibility. The problem for me however; is that January 1st is a difficult time for me to truly sit down and commit the kind of time and attention to resolution making/intention mapping/and goal setting that I’d like to. Rather than feeling contemplative on January 1st, I’m usually busy recovering from the holidays and exhausted from being on the road (we head to Kansas every year to celebrate Christmas with my family) so I’m simply not able to plan my year the way that I’d like to.

So…I have designated July as my personal New Year. July works well for me because 1.) it is my birth month (why celebrate just a birth day when you can celebrate a birth month?) 2.) It is roughly mid year and 3.) My summer schedule is less hectic than my winter schedule thus I am able to commit more time to planning and goal setting.

Advice to My Younger Self

smileysToday is my birthday and I am SO excited! I love everything about birthdays–cake, presents, candles to blow out (LOTS of candles to blow out–oh well) and fun messages from friends and family.

I think another reason that I so love celebrating birthdays is because I am finally at a place in my life where I am comfortable in my own skin, confident in my various roles and at ease with the way in which my life is unfolding. Sure–I still have things that I struggle with (hello swimming suits and caffeine addiction) and there are still occasional moments when I want to punch a hole in the wall. On the whole though–life is good and I feel truly blessed to have a life that I love and a future that excites me.

As I look back on my life, I am astounded at how much different life feels to me now at 45 than it did at 35. So many things have changed in the last decade that as I look back, I hardly recognize the person that I once was. Ten years ago, I was on the precipice of what would be the biggest battle of my life thus far. I was struggling in a downward spiral of a marriage and facing an uphill battle with an eating disorder. I was scared, desperate and lost. I’ll tell you this though–as messed up as that girl was, I’m proud of her. She went through some hard things, fell apart, put herself back together, worked her butt off and somehow managed to piece together a good life for herself and her sons.

I wish I could have lunch with that sweet, crazy, scared younger version of myself. I’d put my arms around her, give her a big hug, look her straight in the eyes and tell her that she was going to have to fight like hell for the life that she deserved, but that if she did fight, she would get it. I’d also pass on to her a few other pieces of wisdom that I’ve gained over the last decade…