Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays. I love coming up with fun costume ideas, gorging myself with candy and attending costume parties. I also cherish the wonderful childhood memories that I have of trick-or-treating with my brother and cousin in my grandparent’s neighborhood.

As a child, the only thing that I didn’t like about Halloween was the masks that we had to wear. You see, I grew up in the 70’s and the Halloween masks that we wore back then were a far cry from the fancy, latex masks that trick-or-treaters wear today. Back then, the masks were made of a weird plastic that had holes for your eyes (that were never big enough to actually allow you to see) and holes for your nostrils (that were never big enough to actually allow you to breathe) and they were held to your face by an elastic band that either dug into the back of your head or gave you a painful snap on the cheek if you weren’t careful.

Yes–I loved Halloween, but I hated those pesky masks. Come to think of it, I still hate masks even though I know that I’m guilty of wearing them more often than I’d care to admit.

No…I’m not implying that I go around wearing actual masks–the masks that I’m talking about here are the figurtive masks that we (myself included) wear on a regular basis in an attempt to portray ourselves as something other than that which we truly are. These figurative masks are dangerous because unlike silly Halloween masks, they are difficult to take off because doing so exposes our true, unfiltered essence and therefore can leave us feeling insecure and vulnerable. However; it is only by having the courage to shed our various masks that we will ever be able to experience a truly FabYOUlous life. It is only by stepping out from behind our masks that we become free to pursue the relationships, experiences and dreams that will allow our true FabYOUlousness to blossom.

Listed below are five of the most common masks that we tend to hide behind and ways to remove each one so that we can begin to live more authentically. Finding the courage to remove our masks might not be easy, but it is an absolute requirement for anyone longing to experience the true freedom of a FabYOUlous life.

1.) The Super Hero Mask: We all know what this mask looks like. It’s the mask that allows the wearer to look like someone who can do it all…effortlessly…while leaping tall buildings in a single bound. It’s the mom who appears to have the perfectly behaved children, immaculate house, beautifully manicured nails and passionate marriage–while also serving as president of the PTO, Girl Scout troop leader and organizer of block parties, bake sales and book clubs. She has a wildly successful home business (because God forbid her kids ever have to go to daycare) and is a culinary wizard who prepares gourmet meals for her family on a nightly basis. She wears this Super Hero mask in the hopes that no one ever discovers the fact that in reality, she is EXHAUSTED. She likes the fact that everyone believes that she can do anything, but she doesn’t have many close friends because people seem intimidated by the facade that she has created. She wears her mask in an attempt to feel worthy of love and admiration, but the mask actually prevents people from loving and admiring the true her.

Whether it’s a “super mom”, “super employee”, “super spiritual” or super anything, the Super Hero mask is often worn to hide feelings of insecurity and low self esteem. What the mask wearer doesn’t realize however; is that imperfections and vulnerabilities are what make us human and are what allow others to relate to us on a more genuine level. Take off this mask by allowing a friend to come over for coffee–even if your house is a wreck, or admitting that you feel overwhelmed because your husband is away on a business trip and your kids are making you crazy. No one can relate to a super hero (because newsflash–they don’t really exist) but everyone can relate to a person who is trying her best and yet still has occasional struggles.

2.) The Catcher’s Mask:  In the great game of baseball, a catcher’s mask is a valuable piece of equipment that helps to protect the catcher from catching a foul tip or wild pitch in the kisser. In real life, a figurative catcher’s mask is worn when someone feels the need to put up a wall of protection in order to insulate herself from the slings and arrows of society.

While there may be times when wearing a self-protective catcher’s mask is necessary (when dealing with particularly nasty people or leaving a harmful relationship) the problems arise when we forget to take the catcher’s mask off. Yes–we need to learn how to let harsh criticism and negativity deflect off of us; however, there is a fine and sometimes blurry line between being self-protective and becoming emotionally shut off. When we forget to take the catcher’s mask off, we run the risk of becoming emotionally unavailable to those who are close to us. We also deny ourselves the therapeutic benefits of experiencing and managing our emotions. The catcher’s mask, when left on too long, can leave us feeling zoned out and stoic. Take this mask off by allowing yourself to truly feel your feelings. Rent a sappy movie, play with a kitten, write in your journal–do whatever you have to do to bring your emotions to the surface so that you can effectively manage them. This may be a challenge if the emotions that you experience are difficult ones, but stuffing or denying our emotions is an unhealthy practice that can lead to greater mental health problems down the road. It is better to feel, confront and manage emotions when they present themselves–even if this means talking with a trained counselor to help you do so.

 3.) The Comedy/Tragedy Theater Mask: Drama, drama drama. We ALL know someone who wears this mask. It’s the person who always has something “earth shattering” going on in her life. Health drama, relationship drama, financial drama, family drama…drama drama drama. No matter what you have going on in your life, the wearer of the theater mask will always be able to top it. The wearer of this mask craves the attention of others and will create drama in order to get it. If, in the off chance there is no drama currently happening in her own life, the theater mask wearer will create drama by gossiping about someone else’s life.

People who wear the theater mask have a deep need to be noticed. They long to be the center of attention–even if it isn’t necessarily positive attention. The problem is, people get tired of being around theater mask wearers and eventually start to pull away. This leads to a vicious cycle of dramatic behavior because the more people pull away from the theater mask wearer, the more dramatic the mask wearer’s behavior becomes in attempt to gain back the attention.

There is a theater mask wearer in nearly every crowd so if you don’t know anyone in your circle who wears this mask, you might need to take a good look in the mirror to ensure that you are not the one hiding behind this mask. If you suspect that maybe you are the culprit, it is time for you to ditch this annoying and counterproductive facade. Instead of constantly striving to be the center of attention, try giving someone else the spotlight for a while. Instead of one upping others with your own tales of misery or grandeur, try sincerely listening to others and empathizing with their situations. Once the theater mask comes off, you’ll discover that the attention you receive from others is far more rewarding because it comes as a result of your ability to share in the lives of others rather than manipulating them to constantly focus on you.

4.) The Lone Ranger Mask: No one can go it alone in life, and yet the wearer of the Lone Ranger mask would have you believe that she can. Never one to ask for help or delegate, this mask wearer often takes on the role of the tortured martyr rather than admitting that a task or situation is more than she can handle. Maybe she has been hurt in a relationship so now she chooses to wear the Lone Ranger mask and remain unattached rather than risk another heartbreak. Maybe she so desperately wants to appear competent in her various roles that she fears asking anyone for help. Whatever the case may be, the wearer of the Lone Ranger mask often ends up feeling isolated and burned out from too many years of carrying life’s burdens without any help from others.

Yes–some people are naturally more introverted than others and therefore need more alone time. Wearers of the Lone Ranger mask however; don’t necessarily crave more alone time–they simply have a difficult time letting outsiders into their lives due to a fear of rejection or because they don’t want to be seen as a burden. Removing this mask means opening up and allowing others to see your vulnerabilities and being willing to ask for help when it is needed. Yes, this can be risky but it can also be incredibly liberating. Removing this mask also means understanding the huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

5.) The Masquerade Mask: Whether it is adorned with feathers or glamorous rhinestones, the masquerade mask is always a sight to behold. Flashy and over-the-top, masquerade mask wearers are those who look great on the outside but have little to offer once the dazzle is stripped away. Masquerade mask wearers can be recognized by their fancy cars, big houses, blinged out jewels and plastic smiles. Unfortunately, as pretty as they may appear on the outside; there is very little substance offered on the inside. Sure, we all want to have nice things and to look our best, but masquerade mask wearers care more about their image than they do anything else. This mask can be a very difficult one to remove because removing it first requires that the mask wearer learn to cultivate a lifestyle that goes beyond the shallowness of appearance and instead focus upon things of substance such as character, integrity, mindfulness and generosity. Once these traits are developed, removing the masquerade mask will be easy and fulfilling because doing so will allow others to recognize and appreciate both the inner and outer beauty of the former mask wearer.

Though mask wearing is a destructive habit that prevents us from living authentically, it is important to understand that wearing masks doesn’t mean that we are bad people. It simply means that we have come to rely on a mask as a defense mechanism for whatever perceived shortcomings we may feel that we possess. Once we learn to embrace our uniqueness and stop shaming ourselves for not being perfect, it will be much easier for us to shed our masks and live in a far more authentic and accepting manner. Removing our masks and revealing our true essence to the world requires courage but it is a necessary step as we move closer to discovering our individual FabYOUlousness. Take a look at your life today and think about what mask(s) you may be wearing and why. Awareness is the first step to FabYOUlousness and by shedding our masks we will allow our own FabYOUlousness to radiate and will discover that a far more FabYOUlous life is waiting for us.

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