Okay–here’s the deal…no matter how FabYOUlous your life currently is, there are still things that you hope to achieve, experience, be, do or have in life. Even the least ambitious among us have something that they want to accomplish–even if it’s just making their way to the fridge for another beer (though I’m assuming that FabYOUlous Life readers are far more ambitious than that!).
So…if we all have goals and aspirations that we want to pursue, what is stopping us from doing just that? What is it that keeps us mired in the quicksand of stagnation that robs us of valuable days, weeks, months and even years? Sadly, the answer to that question can usually be found by looking in the mirror. WE are the ones who sabotage our own efforts when we establish habits that run counter to our aspirations. These habits are so easy to fall into, but once we acknowledge their existence, we can begin taking strategic action to break them and reverse their pull. Check your own life against this list of Seven Dream Barrier Habits to see which bad habits you need to break once and for all; and then, follow the prescribed actions to get momentum back working in your favor again.
Seven Barriers to Your Dream and How to SMASH them
Playing it way too safe. There’s a lot to be said for comfort zones. They’re secure, safe and well…comfortable. However; nothing truly great was ever accomplished inside a comfort zone. Sure, keeping yourself cocooned away inside your tiny, little comfort zone, might prevent you from ever experiencing failure or disappointment, but it will also prevent you from ever experiencing, adventure, awe, glorious success and true, soul-illuminating joy. Yes, venturing outside of your comfort zone can be scary and uncomfortable (hence the term comfort zone) but it must be done if you are ever going to enjoy a life of genuine FabYOUlousness. If playing it safe is what is keeping you from your dreams, you must learn to cultivate the courage necessary to take bold steps outside of your comfort zone. As you do this, you will begin to see your comfort zone expand and encompass things that were once quite uncomfortable to you but that have now become routine. For great suggestions on how to cultivate courage in order to smash through this barrier, check out this post.- Dwelling on the past. Do you have things from your past that make you cringe when you think of them? Of course you do–we all do. We’ve all blown it big time in one way or another and have episodes from our past that likely still cloud the way that we think and act today. In order to experience true and sustained FabYOUlousness, it is absolutely critical that we learn to reframe our past experiences so that they act as powerful motivators of future action rather than as embarrassing reminders of our failings. We can’t deny our pasts, but we can certainly learn to defy them. For four powerful strategies on how to use your past to fuel your future, click here.
- Giving too much power to others. This was something that I personally, was guilty of for WAY too long. I gave away far too much of my personal power to someone who did not have my best interests at heart. Rather than advocating for myself and my needs, I sacrificed over and over again until I simply had nothing left. From that experience (and thanks to copious amounts of therapy), I now understand the value of erecting solid boundaries in my life as a way of protecting my personal power. In order to live an authentically FabYOUlous life, it is imperative that you learn how to create boundaries with those who siphon energy, time and power away from you. You are the only one who can effectively harness and use your power in a way that is empowering for you. Don’t let others drain you of that power for their own purposes that differ from yours. For ten helpful strategies on boundary setting, click here.
- Expecting life to be blissful, 100% of the time. One challenging barrier that we can come up against in our pursuit of a FabYOUlous life is that of unrealistic expectations. We think that living within the fullest expression of our FabYOUlousness must mean that we are able to live life in a state of blissed out ecstasy, twenty-four hours a day. Well, that simply is not the case–nor is it even possible. Believe it or not, even when we are truly living out our FabYOUlousness, we will still have moments of difficulty and times when we just don’t feel our best. The difference is, that when we are pursuing our FabYOUlous life and taking actions that are aligned with our goals, we won’t allow momentary moments of frustration, disappointment, etc. keep us from moving forward. We will be able to detach from our emotions, gain the wisdom that they are trying to teach us and then move forward with more data than we had before. We will also be able to understand that even difficult emotions can have an up-side if we are willing to look for it. For a great post on how to reframe negative emotions and experiences in a positive way, click here.
- Doubting yourself. Most of us never live up to our full potential simply because we doubt that we can. This is such a shame and a belief that our FabYOUlous Life will require that we abandon. I love the quote by Thomas Edison that says “if we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves”. Whether you want to launch a business, write a book, get a degree, run a marathon or any other hard thing; half the battle is simply believing that you can. Sure, pursuing our goals might require us to get some additional training, expand our horizons or play bigger than we ever have before, but here’s the thing…everything is (according to one of my favorite inspirational teachers, Marie Forleo) figureoutable. In fact, if you are currently being held back by the barrier of self-doubt, check out Marie’s talk on Oprah’s Super Soul Sessions, then, get ready to stop doubting yourself and start figuring things out.
- Getting caught up in drama. How many times do we allow ourselves to get caught up in political mudslinging, malicious gossip or simply rubbernecking at someone else’s disaster? We know that we shouldn’t engage in this kind of behavior but there is just something so tantalizing about drama that we can’t seem to pull ourselves away from it. Here’s the deal though…every second that we spend engaged in drama is one second that we lose–a second that could be better invested in the pursuit of our dreams. It’s not easy and it takes commitment. Rising above drama requires that we become more focused upon aligning ourselves with our FabYOUlousness than we are to the salaciousness of the drama that surrounds us. For seven ways to break your addiction to drama, click here.
- Throwing in the towel too soon. You’ve heard the story–a guy goes digging for gold but gets worn out and gives up…right when the next shovelful would have seen him hit pay-dirt. This might seem like an extreme example, but I sincerely believe that too many of us give up on our dreams at the precise moment when things are about to shift and start moving forward. If a life of FabYOUlousness is truly your goal, tenacity is going to be a requirement. I almost feel like this is the Universe’s way of discovering just how committed we are to our endeavor. When we are able to break through the barrier of feeling like we want to give up, and persevere in spite of our inclinations to abandon hope, that is when we begin to experience victories beyond what we ever could have anticipated. Some may call it stubbornness, but I like to call it grit and fortitude. No matter what you call it though, it is something that you are going to need to employ as you work toward your goals. When you go as far as you feel like you can go, learn to rest–but DO NOT QUIT.
Another way to prepare yourself for barrier breaking success is to arm yourself with the proper tools for your undertaking. Check out my new book Finding FabYOUlous: A ‘Self-Help with Sass’ Guide to Finding, Celebrating and Capitalizing On the FabYOUlousness that Makes You , YOU for strategies, action plans and inspiration to help you live your most FabYOUlous life. 
You can also click the image below to receive our two most popular ebooks, 365 Questions to Help You Find Your Answers and 50 FabYOUlous Ways to Energize Your Life.
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