FabYOUlous Life!Fab Fun – FabYOUlous Life!

20 Creative Ways to Boost Your Creativity

Melissa Venable — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 06:36:43 +0000

It's Time to get Creative about Creativity

Albert Einstein once referred to creativity as “intelligence having fun”. I don’t know about you, but I like being intelligent and I especially like it if it’s fun.

However; despite my desire to live a creative life, the truth of the matter is that I’ve never really considered myself to be a particularly creative person. Oh sure—I like to create; I knit, crochet, craft, and write, however, the things that I create are usually from a pattern that someone else has created and I am simply replicating. Heck, even my writing, though original, typically falls in the non-fiction, self-help genre rather than among more creative fictional works.

Still…I long to be a more creative individual, so I’ve intentionally set out on a quest to cultivate more creativity in my life. I haven’t been at it for long but already, I can see that Maya Angelou was correct when she said, “you can’t use up creativity–the more you use, the more you have”. As I look for opportunities to expand my creativity, I find myself approaching everyday situations with a more creative mindset.

Here are some creativity boosting ideas that I’ve tried, along with some other suggestions that I’ve found from leading creativity experts. Pick a few to try and then watch as your increased creativity begins to spill over into every aspect of your life.

FabYOUlous Ideas for Living a More Creative Life

Take one photo a day for an entire year. Try to vary your photos from standard shots (your family, your cat, your new car etc.) with more “artsy” photos (try varying the background or using different aperture settings etc.) At the end of your year, compile all of the photos into an album.
Start the next great American novel by writing one page a day for a year. Just think—in a year you’ll have 365 pages. That’s plenty for a novel!
Learn one new word every day and try to work it into a sentence. Not only will this boost your intelligence—it will also fire up your creativity.
Take $20 to your local thrift store and try to come up with a fun new outfit.
Create an indoor succulent garden/terrarium. For a simple tutorial, click here
Hop over to YouTube and find a video tutorial for a creative project that you’d like to try. I’ve got this one on my to-do list.
Try drawing something with your non-dominant hand
Listen to some creativity inspiring podcasts. Might I suggest: The Go Creative Show, 99 Percent Invisible, Creative Mornings and The Unmistakable Creative.
Daydream about your dream vacation, your next tattoo, your ideal career…get those creative juices fired up and then jot down the thoughts/visions/ideas that came to you during your daydream session.
Flip through a cookbook or visit a recipe board on Pinterest (here’s one to check out) and pick out a new recipe to try.
Try rearranging the furniture in one room of your house.
Cut letters and images out of magazines to create a collage of your favorite quotes.
Write a Haiku. For those of you who need a refresher—it’s a three lined poem. The first and last lines are made up of five syllables and the middle line is made up of seven syllables. It need not rhyme (most Haiku don’t).
Visit an art museum or gallery that you’ve never been to before.
Gather some stones and paint them, then…leave them laying around for others to find. For inspiration, click here.
Practice an instrument for 30 minutes every day.
Spend time every evening coloring in an adult coloring book. Here’s one of my faves.
Upcycle something into a new, FabYOUlous creation. Here are some fun ways to upcycle blue jeans.
Work your way through this book—it’s SO fun.
Start a new collection of small items (rocks, thimbles, buttons, matchbook covers…) and create a shadow box in which to display your creation.

Finally, if you would like to check out a few of my favorite books on the subject of creativity cultivation, you can start with these…

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
Play by Stuart Brown
Creative Confidence by Tom and David Kelley
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Truly, the best thing about increasing your level of creativity is that there is no real wrong way to do it. Anything that gets you thinking in a new way is boosting your creativity. It’s simply time to start making the effort—it’s time to get creative about your creativity.

Don’t Forget to Snag our TWO Free Ebooks! Just Click the Image Below…

Summertime and the Living is…Hectic?

Melissa Venable — Sun, 10 Jun 2018 05:50:20 +0000

50 FabYOUlous Ways to Entertain your Kiddos this Summer

Okay–I know that it seems strange that I (a woman whose children are now in their early 20’s) am writing a post about how to keep children entertained during the summer. I realize that this is no longer an issue that I, personally, have to deal with, however; I still, to this day, have PTSD from the many summers of trying desperately to keep two busy little boys entertained during the long, hot days of summer vacation.

So, in an effort to help those of you who are still in the trenches; I’ve put together a list of some of the activities that my boys enjoyed back in the day, and have combined those suggestions with other ideas that I have found through research and by chatting with friends of mine who still have school aged kiddos. Hopefully this list will give you a few ideas that you haven’t tried yet, or spur your own creativity to come up with additional suggestions. I have to confess, some of these ideas sound super fun. I may want to try them…even without kids!

50 FabYOUlous Ways to Entertain Your Kiddos this Summer

Start a scrapbook–let your kids select the photos and decorate the pages with stickers, drawings etc.
Volunteer at an animal shelter–the critters will love the attention from your kiddos and vice versa.
Start a jigsaw puzzle that will take a while to complete–do it on a large piece of foam core board so that the puzzle can be moved out of the way when it isn’t being worked on
Plant a garden–your kids might just eat their veggies if they grew them themselves
Check out the kid’s workshops at Home Depot–visit their website to see what projects are being offered.
Roast marshmallows over a fire pit in the backyard–if your kids don’t spook easily, you can even throw in a ghost story or two.
Learn to tie-dye some groovy fashions–for a simple “how-to”, click here.
Have an alphabet scavenger hunt–your kiddos must find one item that begins with every letter of the alphabet.
Make a giant Twister game or Hopscotch in the backyard or driveway–if in the yard, use spray paint. If in the driveway, used colored sidewalk chalk.
Bake cookies to deliver to the neighbors–and watch your family become the most popular family on the block. If it’s too hot to bake, try some no-bake cookies.
Have a water balloon fight–outdoors…obviously.
Go stargazing–learn about a few constellations and then see if you can point them out in the night sky.
Visit a zoo or aquarium–make it an educational experience by learning about the animals you visit.
Visit a retirement home–and have your kiddos read stories to the residents.
Let kids paint each other with washable Tempera paint–and then wash it off by running through the sprinklers in the backyard.
Take your kids to a baseball game–bonus points if you teach them how to keep a scorecard.
Set up a tent in the backyard and go “camping”–this one was a fave with my boys when they were younger.
Make good use of nearby parks–we’d go to a park almost every day when my boys were little.
Take a hike–we live in beautiful Colorado where the hiking trails are endless, so this is another fave of ours–even now that my boys are older.
Join a summer reading club–click here for suggestions on where to find these clubs.
Join a Junior Ranger Program–many national and state parks have these fun and educational programs.
Have a garage sale–your kids can earn some spending money by getting rid of items they no longer want/use.
Make ice eggs–on the night before an especially warm day, fill balloons with water and then slip a small toy inside the balloon as well. Put the balloons in the freezer and then send the kids outside with their “eggs” the next day. When the eggs melt, the toys will be revealed. For extra fun–add food coloring to the water to make colored ice eggs.
Visit a local police or fire station–since most departments don’t have set visiting hours, be sure to call ahead to set up a time. For added fun, take some homemade treats to your local heroes.
Organize a neighborhood kick-ball tournament–a fun way to bring neighbors together for a little friendly competition.
Make some goop–create a mysterious matter that kids can shape into balls or let ooze from their fingers. Here’s how:
* Pour one cup water into a large mixing bowl.
* Add a few drops of food coloring (any color).
* Slowly stir in two cups of cornstarch (use a spoon at first, but you may eventually find it’s easier with your hands).
Enroll in summer craft class–most Michael’s or Joann’s Fabrics stores have summer classes for kids.
Host a toy swap–invite your kid’s friends to bring over a few toys that they no longer play with and have a swap. Everyone leaves with a toy that’s “new” to them.
Make homemade ice cream–because let’s face it, homemade tastes best.
Make tin-can stilts–remember those? So much fun!
Craft some wind chimes–click here for instructions.
Make a fairy garden–it’s simple, click here to learn how.
Visit a farmer’s market–and bring home some fresh produce.
Play tourist in your own town–staycations truly can be a lot of fun if you view your hometown through tourist eyes.
Learn how to double dutch jumprope–or…start with a single rope if necessary.
Play a nighttime game of flashlight tag at a local park or backyard–while you’re at it, keep your eyes open for fireflies.
Build a birdhouse–or a bat house!
Go to a drive-in movie–Especially fun if you own a pick-up truck and lots of pillows and blankets.
Go fly a kite–I’m a grown up and I still love flying kites.
Host an ice cream sundae bar–heck, have ice cream sundaes for dinner just once.
Paint pet rocks–they require a lot less care and maintenance than a real pet.
Make popsicles–all you need is some fruit juice, dixie cups and popsicle sticks. Easy peasy.
Create a bicycle obstacle course–don’t forget the helmets!
Make root beer floats for your kids and the neighborhood kids–maybe for the neighborhood adults too.
Set up a lemonade stand–an oldie but a goodie.
Learn origami–for simple tutorials, click here.
Learn Pig Latin together–it’s like your own secret language.
Learn some simple magic tricks–and then put together a magic show. Here are some beginner tricks to get you started.
Go geocaching–lots of fun for older kiddos. Click here for an introduction.
Study insects with a magnifying glass–just be sure that the sun is not shining through the glass…the object here is to study the insects, not fry them.

Yes, having the kids home from school does require a bit more planning and preparation, but it also means more freedom and fun. Be sure to make time to enjoy your kids–they grow up SO fast, but happy summer memories will stay with them forever.

Stop Trading Your Life for the Television

Melissa Venable — Fri, 11 May 2018 05:07:58 +0000

50 Things to do Instead of Watching TV

Time. It is one of our most precious commodities, and yet, it is something that so many of us squander without giving a second thought as to how it might be better spent. One thing that never ceases to bewilder me, is how often people will say to me that they don’t have time to go out and pursue their dreams–and yet, those same people can tell you everything that happened during the last season of Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead or The Bachelor.

Now, please, please don’t take this wrong. I am not saying any of this in judgement, since I too, enjoy watching TV on occasion and understand that there is a time and a place in life for guilty pleasure. However; I do know (from personal experience) how much more fulfilling, enjoyable and rewarding life can be when we make the effort to regain control of our time and pull ourselves away from the television. I mean think about it…we all trade the minutes of our lives for something; do you really want that thing to be hours of zoned out disconnection in front of a glowing box?

If you are ready to start taking back control of your time (and ultimately, your life) and weaning yourself from hours spent in front of the television, here are 50 suggestions of things that you can do instead of watch TV.

50 FabYOUlous Things to Do Instead of Watching TV

Read a book. Television watching is meant to be passive (thus reducing cognitive development) while reading is an active mental pursuit (thus developing greater cognition). If you are looking for some suggestions on what read, click here for a few of my faves. Plus, as an added bonus, reading can make you sexier. It’s true! You can get the details here.
Create a tabletop succulent garden. Not only will this simple project result in a beautiful centerpiece, it will bring a little bit of nature into your indoor environment which will help to purify the air and soothe your spirits. For a tutorial on how to create your own indoor succulent garden, click here.
Sign up for an online class in a subject that interests you. I just love the platform Udemy because it offers such a wide variety of classes on so many interesting subjects. I’ve used Udemy to learn everything from how to self publish a book to how to make a macrame plant hanger. If there is something that you’d like to learn, there’s a good chance that Udemy has a class for you.
Start a side-hustle–or at least start brainstorming side-hustle ideas. Is there a business idea that you’ve been noodling on for a while? Do you long to escape your day job for something that’s more fulfilling? Maybe now is the time for you to start thinking about starting a business of your own. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now, but maybe you can start jotting down some ideas and get the creative juices flowing. Who knows where this first step might lead.
Gather your family (or friends) for a rousing game of Jenga with a Twist. Seriously–it is SO fun. Or…if all players are over the age of 21, you might want to check out Drunken Jenga Directions (and a printable) for each game can be downloaded here.
Organize one messy drawer/cabinet. Throw away anything that you no longer need or want. Just think how much more organized your house would be if you did this every day for a month…
Plan a week’s worth of outfits. Not only will this snag you a few more minutes of sanity in the morning, it will give you an opportunity to asses if anything needs mending, washing, ironing etc.
Plan a week’s worth of meals. This one will add more sanity to your evenings by eliminating the hassle of trying to decide what to fix.
Download the ibotta app to your smart phone. This app lets you earn money on items that you buy all the time anyhow. Plus–you’ll get $10 free for signing up with this referral code link (while the promotion lasts). Last year, I banked all of my reward money and cashed it out to use for Christmas shopping. It gave me an extra $120 to put towards my holiday budget.
Go for a walk. Walking is so, so good for you. Click here for seven tips on how to rock your walk and make it even more productive.
Sort your social media. Do you have friends on Facebook who aren’t really friends but you added them because you kinda knew them and felt guilty when they sent you a friend request, but now that you’ve accepted, all they do is pitch their new business 24/7 and try to get you to join their “once in a lifetime” opportunity? Or…do you have “friends” who are so wrapped up in drama, judgement and competition, that reading their posts literally makes you feel like you need to go take a shower afterwards? Yeah–we all have people like that in our social media feeds. Instead of letting these “friends” bring down your vibe or make you feel inferior, spend your normal TV viewing time going through your social media feeds and getting rid of anyone who doesn’t add genuine value to your life.
Clean out your purse. Not only will getting rid of the gum wrappers, old tissues and ancient receipts feel good, it will also make more room in your purse for important things, like, you know…money.
Go outside and get some fresh air. Bonus points if you allow yourself to walk barefoot in some grass, or (if it’s too cold) take some big deep breaths of fresh, energizing air.
Start planning a garage sale–a great way to get rid of some clutter and make a little bank at the same time.
Call your mom. You know that she misses you…and worries.
Go through your calendar and schedule some time for self-care. Make time for a massage, haircut or manicure. Pencil in some time to go to yoga class or to do some journaling. Get these me-time moments blocked out on your calendar for the next month and then stick to them.
Meditate. Unless you have been hiding out under a rock, you’ve no doubt heard about the many, many physical and emotional health benefits of meditation (if you have been living under a rock, you can read more about those benefits here). So…instead of watching TV tonight, why don’t you give this incredible practice a try. Don’t worry–if you have no idea how to get started with meditation, you can check out this post for a full run-down on everything you need to know about beginning a sustainable meditation practice.
Tune into some inspiring podcasts. I love podcasts. I listen to them while I’m working out, driving, doing laundry–you get the picture. No matter what you are interested in, there is sure to be a podcast on the subject. A few of my faves include Style Your Mind, She Means Business and Goal Digger.
Build some muscle. As a “sort of” runner, I am someone who does a decent job when it comes to building my cardio fitness. What I’m not great at though is strength training. If (like me), your muscles could use a little toning, use your TV time to do some push-ups, squats or planking. For my super-simple routine, click here.
Start planning your next vacation. Google things to do, activities in the area etc.
Start a savings plan for your next vacation. After you plan your trip, it’s time to create a budget to start saving for it.
Make a vision board. If you’ve followed FabYOUlous Life for any length of time, you know that I am a huge proponent of vision boards. Not only are they fun to make, they (when used correctly) are incredibly effective at helping to manifest incredible things, experiences, relationships etc. into life. For more info. on how to create and harness the magic of a vision board, click here. Here’s a shot of my vision board to give you a little inspiration…
Phone a friend. Remember the days when people used phones to actually call other people and talk? Call up a friend and have a nice chat. Sometimes it can be therapeutic just to hear the voice of someone you genuinely care about.
Learn to knit (or sketch, or paint, or write haiku…you get the picture). Find an activity that allows you to tap into your creative side (yes, you have one). If knitting ends up being your thing, check out this quick tutorial for my favorite (and easy to make) knit slippers.
Bake some cookies. I mean, what could be better than cookies? Earn some brownie points by taking the cookies to your office to share.
Give some extra attention to your four legged bestie. Pets do so much for us (click here to learn just how beneficial our pets are to our physical and emotional health) so why not spend a little extra time with your fur baby instead of zoning out with the TV.
Do some stretching. Not only does stretching out those muscles feel good, it also helps to keep you limber and less prone to injury.
Clean out your inbox. While “inbox zero” might be a pipe dream for many of us, there’s no reason for 4,352 old emails to be languishing in your inbox for months on end. Take some time to start sorting out those messages that truly are important from those that need to be deleted.
Watch a make-up tutorial on YouTube and then give yourself a mini-makeover. Who knows–maybe you’ll finally master the “smokey eye” without looking like Alice Cooper (no offense Alice–you totally pull it off)
Organize your computer desktop and files. No more wondering where on earth you saved that file to.
Get it on. This is my hubby’s favorite suggestion on this list–just sayin’. Seriously though–what can be better than a little nooky? It burns calories, strengthens your bond with your partner and releases stress. Oh yeah–there’s also the fact that it feels awesome
Listen to your favorite music. Jazz, country, death metal–if it’s your jam, crank it up.
Join or start a MeetUp group. If there is a subject that you’re interested in, there’s a good chance that someone else is interested in it too. Check out Meetup.com to see if an interest group already exists in your area, but if not–start one.
Take a nice, warm bubble bath. Make your bath extra decadent with these simple DIY bath bombs.
Start a gratitude journal. Nothing can shift one’s perspective and raise one’s spirits faster than expressing gratitude. Click here for seven simple ways to put the power of gratitude to work in your life.
Get crafty. Make something with your own two hands. For starters, you can make this fun vacation memories photo frame.
Give yourself a mani/pedi. Studies have actually shown that having well kept nails is a confidence booster for both women and men. For tips on how to give yourself the perfect pedi, click here.
Take a nap. Sure–we might have fought nap time when we were four years old, but now that we are adults–NAPS ARE AWESOME. The key to feeling refreshed after a nap is to only nap for 20 minutes or so. If you nap longer than that, your body will slip into a deeper sleep cycle and you will feel groggy upon waking.
Research volunteer opportunities. There are so many worthy organizations out there that are looking for committed volunteers. If you have time and talent that you’d like to offer, check out the Volunteer Match website to get information about volunteer opportunities in your area.
Do a crossword puzzle or solve a Sudoku. Not only are puzzles fun–they help prevent premature brain aging.
Clean out your fridge. You can pitch anything that is past its “use by” date and use the good stuff to plan your weekly menu (see item #8).
Sweat it out. Break a sweat by doing 100 jumping jacks, going for a jog around your neighborhood or simply going up and down your stairs until you start to feel the burn.
Do the laundry. Especially since your clothes are now sweaty (see above entry).
Write down your personal and professional goals for the next six months, year, three years. Then, follow up by making a plan to start working towards them.
Give your honey a massage and then have them give you one in return. Not only does this one feel so good, it might also lead to item #31 on the list–wink.
Make a plan to create your own “sacred space” in your home. Click here for some great suggestions on how to go about doing this.
Write a letter. This letter can be a love letter to your partner, an appreciation note to a friend, or even a wisdom letter to your younger self. You don’t even have to send the letter if you don’t feel like it–just the act of writing can be therapeutic on its own.
Play. Whether it’s riding a bike, jumping rope, rollerskating or shooting hoops–choose an activity that brought you joy as a kid and spend some time indulging in it as an adult.
Have a conversation with someone you care about. If you can’t think of anything to discuss, you can start by downloading the free ebook, “365 Questions to Help You Find Your Answers” and picking out a few questions to use as conversation starters.
Start a Pinterest board on a subject that you love. Be warned though–Pinterest is SO addictive. Seriously–my family is threatening to stage an intervention for me based upon my Pinterest addiction. This would of course be called a “pintervention”–HA!

While it certainly isn’t expected that all of these suggestions will be appealing to you, there are sure to be a few on this list that you can easily implement the next time the urge to spend an entire evening vegged out on the couch, watching TV hits. I truly believe that the quality of one’s life is determined by the choices one makes. Make the commitment today to take back your power from the television and reinvest your time in personally meaningful activities–your future self will thank you.

Don’t forget to click the image below to download your TWO free ebooks: “365 Questions to Help You Find Your Answers” and “50 FabYOUlous Ways to Energize Your Life”

Come On Get HAPPY

Melissa Venable — Mon, 19 Feb 2018 04:41:01 +0000

20 Simple Ways to Hack Your Happy

I am very HAPPY to say that I live in the fourth happiest city in the U.S. (according to a study published in the book, The Blue Zones of Happiness: Lessons from the World’s Happiest People by Dan Buettner). However; I firmly believe that true happiness is a state of mind, not something that is dictated by your zip code.
I also happen to believe that happiness is something that we must take responsibility for consciously cultivating in our lives–it’s not just something that we stumble upon if we are lucky.

In today’s world of political mud slinging, school shootings, flu epidemics and what have you, it can be increasingly difficult to find a reason to smile. Yet, despite the difficulty, it is imperative that we make the effort because studies have shown numerous correlations between happiness levels and health and longevity.

So…what do we do when it seems that our happiness has gone packing and is nowhere to be found? Well, for starters, you can try any one (or a combination) of these 20 FabYOUlous Happiness Hacks. . .

Turn up your favorite jam. It doesn’t really matter if it’s hair metal, classical, hip-hop or country–what matters is how the music makes you feel. Put together a playlist of your favorite, energizing songs and keep it handy for those moments when the blues take hold. I have an embarrassing confession to make here…one of my “go-to” songs for when I need a boost of happiness is Come On Get Happy by the Partridge Family. Yes…I have the Partridge Family on my playlist. Don’t judge me–it works–give it a listen! Come On Get Happy
Turn down the news. It has literally been years since I’ve watched a news program or read a newspaper. Does this mean that I am woefully uninformed on current events? Nope. I still always manage to hear about important news. What it does mean though is that I am not constantly inundated with stories of murder and mayhem. Instead of the news, I regularly listen to uplifting podcasts (like Live Happy Now and Lead to Win) or read inspiring books like, oh, you know… Finding FabYOUlous or any of these amazing books.
Drink. Okay, settle down–this isn’t a green light for imbibing when you’re feeling low. In fact, alcohol is a terrible thing to add to the mix when you’re already feeling down (just look at your last drunk text to your ex for further proof). Instead, try downing a tall glass of good ol’ H20. As it turns out, crankiness and feelings of lethargy are early tell-tale symptoms of dehydration. For more great reasons to chug some water, click here and and then, click here for some great ways to kick your water drinking up a notch with some health and flavor boosting infused water recipes.
Start planning your next getaway. Who doesn’t love going on vacation? Did you know though that research shows that looking forward to a trip often brings more happiness than the actual vacation itself? Often this stems from the stress of managing vacation logistics, reservations, flights etc. If you truly want to get the most of your vacation experience, plan a relaxing vacation instead of a jam packed whirlwind of sight-seeing. Vacationers who enjoy restful and relaxing vacations tend to report higher levels of happiness while on vacation. To make this strategy work best for you, pick out a relaxing vacation spot and then enjoy yourself as you peruse photos from that location and research fun things to do. Be sure to factor in plenty of downtime too.
Get thyself to a beach. Since we’re on the topic of vacations, let’s consider making that next trip one that ends up at the beach. Studies show that breathing in sea air and gazing at beautiful sunsets (or sunrises if you’re an early bird) over the water are incredibly calming and good for mental health. While you plan your beach vacation, be sure to look at photos of beach scenes because just looking at photos of beautiful beaches or listening to soundtracks of crashing waves have been shown to have a positive impact upon mood and stress levels.
Give of your time, talent and treasure. You know that awesome feeling that you get when you’re engrossed in a pleasurable activity (like eating chocolate or… having sex)? Well, the same areas of the brain that are activated during those activities are also activated when you give of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you donate money to a charitable organization or volunteer your time to make a difference, the simple act of “giving” boosts happiness levels by creating a sense of purpose and increasing life satisfaction. For suggestions on organizations that could use your support, check out the website Volunteer Match.
Celebrate someone else. Oftentimes, our feelings of unhappiness stem from feelings of not measuring up. We see someone else who is enjoying life and instead of celebrating their happiness, we succumb to feelings of “why not me?”. Instead of falling into the comparison trap, try flipping the script and summoning up thoughts of genuine joy for others. When we are able to sincerely celebrate the happiness of others, we experience what researchers call “relational positivity”. This causes pleasure neurons in our brains to fire in response to seeing others experience joy. In simpler terms, we can literally catch someone else’s good vibes.
Live with an attitude of gratitude. The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness is nothing new. Mainstream media has been touting its benefits for years (thank you Oprah!) and long term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in all areas of personal well being. In fact, researchers at the University of California, San Diego have shown that an attitude of gratitude can help to ease chronic stress which leads to improved immune function and a reduction in unhealthy inflammation in the body.One simple way of cultivating a gratitude practice is to keep a daily gratitude journal. Even on the worst days, there is always something to be grateful for. For more suggestions on putting the power of gratitude to work in your life, click here.
Go on a complaining fast. As you begin to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, you’ll notice that your propensity for complaining will naturally start to diminish. Still, we’re human and as humans, we will still find reasons to complain. In order to combat this natural bent, try going on a 24 hour complaining fast. Even if you slip up and don’t make it through the full 24 hours without complaining, just challenging yourself in this way will bring an awareness to your complaining habit. When we are able to become more aware of our thoughts and habitual ways of being, we can train ourselves to detach ourselves from our negative thoughts and tune in to how the thought affects us. Awareness of this type can help us to pull back and reframe our thoughts in a more positive way, thereby preventing a knee jerk negative reaction.
Pound some protein. We truly are what we eat, so we should eat happy. When you eat foods like poultry, meat, nuts and milk, you are ingesting the essential amino acid tryptophan, which is a critical component in the production of the brain chemical, serotonin, a.k.a. the “happiness chemical” (and don’t worry, those stories about tryptophan making you sleepy–well, they’re just not true, it’s the amount of food you eat on Thanksgiving that really makes you want to take that nap). Just like anything else though, it is possible to consume too much protein, but unless you are one of those muscle heads at the gym who constantly slam protein drinks, cut carbs and participate in all manner of less than healthy practices for the sake of looking “swoll”, you likely don’t need to be too concerned about this. Just be smart and remember–everything in moderation.
Give three cheers for CHOCOLATE! I can’t tell you how HAPPY I am that chocolate is on this list. Numerous studies have shown that eating chocolate is a sure fire way to trigger happiness in most people; but c’mon–did we really need a study to tell us that? Still, researchers speculate that the flavonoids and plant compounds found in cacao (a key ingredient in chocolate) play a role in chocolate’s mood boosting capabilities. For added benefit, make dark chocolate your chocolate of choice, because research published in the journal, Nutrients has found that dark chocolate not only makes us happy, it improves our concentration and boosts our memory too.
See the light. When you wake up in the morning, be sure to open your window shades and let the light shine in. Then, take a stroll around your block during the afternoon to get some more natural sunlight. Exposing yourself to natural light triggers your body to stop producing melatonin (the hormone that makes you sleepy) and promotes wakefulness. Allowing your skin to soak up a bit of the sun’s UVB rays will also help your body to produce much needed Vitamin D. Plus–there’s a reason that so many places on the Top 10 Happiest Cities in the U.S. list just happen to be in areas with a lot of sunlight–sunshine just makes us feel cheerier; it’s as simple as that.
Commit a Random Act of Kindness. One of my all time favorite quotes comes from Mark Twain; he said that “the best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up”. As it turns out, Twain was on to something because science now shows that doing simple acts of kindness for others can improve overall life satisfaction in as little as 10 days. These acts can range from the small (holding the door for a stranger) to the more elaborate (planning a surprise vacation for your spouse) though simple, thoughtful acts committed on a regular basis seem to pack more happiness punch than larger, more extravagant (less regular) acts. One of my personal favorites happens to be paying for the person behind me’s order at a drive-through. It rarely costs over five dollars (obviously I go to cheap drive-thrus) but it leaves me feeling good all day long.
Spend time with people who love, support and celebrate you. Nothing can suck the happiness right out of a person faster than being in the presence of someone who belittles, bullies or berates you. We all know who those people are and we likely take steps to avoid them as much as possible. What about those whose energy draining behavior is less obvious though? What about the sister whose backhanded compliments leave you feeling worse than before or the office “hot shot” who seems nice enough and yet refuses to acknowledge your existence? I refer to these individuals as “drains” because they have the power to literally drain us of our energy, enthusiasm and esteem. On the flip-side, we also (hopefully) have those people in our lives who just plain love us. They are always happy to see or hear from us, they think our ideas are awesome and they always have our backs. I call these people “sprinklers” because, just as a sprinkler helps to water the lawn so that the grass can grow, they sprinkle us with their love, thereby allowing us to flourish and grow into the best versions of ourselves. Raising our happiness levels can often be as simple as associating with the right kind of people and then making it a priority to spend time with them. Once you find your tribe of sprinklers, you can click here for some fun ideas on what to do with them.
Flip through a photo album. Unfortunately, our brains are naturally programmed to focus on what’s going wrong in our lives. This bent toward pessimism had evolutionary benefit back when we had to stay away from dangers like wild animals, but now that our lives are WAY more cushy (I mean, I haven’t had to fight off any bears lately–have you?), those negative thoughts take up way too much space in our brains. To combat this, we need to be proactive about filling our minds with positive images and memories. One of the quickest ways to do this is to pull out a photo alum and reminisce about good times with friends and family. I know that when I’m in the dumps, all I have to do is glance at some photos I have of a trip to Hawaii that I took with my husband and three, young adult children. Seeing the smiles in those photos (along with the gorgeous beach scenery–see item #5 on this list) always elicits a warm, fuzzy and incredibly happy feeling. To make this strategy even more effective, take some of your favorite photos out of the album and put them into pretty frames that you can place on your desk, nightstand etc. so that you can conjure up those happy memories more often. You can also click here for a fun tutorial on how to make your own vacation map frame.
Get a whiff of happiness. I’ll confess, I’m no expert at aromatherapy, but I do know without a doubt that there are certain fragrances that make me happy. One is movie popcorn…love me some buttery movie popcorn. I’ve also experimented enough with different essential oil blends to know that there are many of those that elevate my mood and make me feel more energized. If you are new to the essential oil craze, I’d encourage you to visit this site and then, once you’re more familiar with what essential oils can do for you, you can try a few that are proven to have mood elevating effects. My personal favorite happiness blend is wild orange with peppermint. It sounds weird, but citrus scents have been shown to boost happiness levels while peppermint has an energizing effect. Plus, as weird as the combination sounds–it smells really good. Click here for my favorite essential oil diffuser.
Indulge in some pampering. Why is it that we, as women, tend to take such great care of everyone else, and yet we’ll allow ourselves to fall into complete emotional and physical exhaustion before extending a little love to ourselves? This is a tendency that needs to stop if we are going to experience regular happiness in life. While self-care is certainly important when we are experiencing the blues, it is crucial that we understand that self-care is something that should be practiced every day, and when administered regularly can help us to avoid feelings of sadness, overwhelm and exhaustion. The important thing to remember here is that our pampering should come in the form of healthy activities. When we are stressed out, it is all too easy to fall into unhealthy habits (downing an entire bottle of wine for example–or eating an entire gallon of Haagen Dazs in one setting), so prepare yourself ahead of time by having a list of healthy self-care activities that you can easily indulge in. Some of my faves include: taking a hot bubble bath, reading for pleasure, knitting, getting a massage and heading to a nearby lake with my paddle board.
Enjoy some flower power. On your way home from work, be sure to stop by a flower stand and grab a pretty bouquet to take home. A study from Harvard University has found that people reported feeling happier and more energetic after looking at flowers. This effect seemed strongest when flowers were viewed first thing in the morning or were displayed in a room where they spent a lot of time.
Walk it out. This strategy is excellent because not only will it make you feel better emotionally, it will make you feel better physically too. Physical exercise releases endorphins into our system which helps us to feel good. Best of all, this strategy isn’t reserved just for those who spend hours a day at the gym; research shows that just five minutes a day of any outdoor activity (walking, running, riding a bike, etc.) can improve your mood almost immediately.
Cuddle your critter. While therapy dogs have long been used to help lessen symptoms of anxiety and depression in those who suffer from PTSD or who live in nursing homes, current research now shows something that those of us with pets have long known–a few minutes with a favorite animal does wonders to reduce stress and tension thereby promoting happiness. For more great info. on the benefits of pet ownership, click here.

Just typing up this list has me feeling happier already–I hope that reading it has done the same for you. For more ideas on how to improve your life, be sure to click the image below and sign up for our TWO free ebooks, “365 Questions to Help You Find Your Answers” and “50 FabYoulous Ways to Energize Your Life”

FREE “Radical Shifts” Online Summit!

Melissa Venable — Wed, 09 Aug 2017 19:13:47 +0000

Register TODAY

Mark your calendar for Oct. 9th-16th and register TODAY for this FREE Online Summit featuring Danielle Laporte, Joe Vitale, Kathrin Zenkina and MORE!

International speakers, bestselling authors and thought leaders will share with you their own road to success and overcoming fears and limiting beliefs. You’ll learn about the quick radical shifts that you can apply in your own life to make life-lasting change.

The summit has an amazing lineup (including BIG names like Danielle Laporte, Joe Vitale and Kathrin Zenkina–just to name a few) with INCREDIBLE credentials, including…

Members of Oprah Winfrey’s SuperSoul 100
One of the presenters has a website that has been chosen as “Top 100 Website for Women” by Forbes magazine
An internationally recognized leader in bridging science and spirit, who is a stem cell biologist, bestselling author and has been a guest speaker on hundreds of TV and radio shows.
One of the stars from a hit movie The Secret and has been featured in 15 movies
One of the world’s leading authorities on human behaviour and personal development
Author of 40 books and published in over 29 different languages
Absolute hero presenters who have overcome a life-threatening illnesses and transformed their lives

With love,

Melissa

PS: This is what you’ll learn in a nutshell:

How to break your unconscious habits and negative thought patterns
Discover how your beliefs affect your ability to build wealth
Identify the blocks that are keeping you limited
Start to comprehend ‘why’ you do the things you do, and what genetic conditioning, or environmental factors influence your habits
And so MUCH more…

While you wait for the summit, be sure to click the image below to download your two FREE ebooks: “365 Questions to Help You Find Your Answers” and “50 FabYOUlous Ways to Energize Your Life”.

Fab-YOU-lous Changes for a Fab-YOU-lous Life

Melissa Venable — Sun, 29 Jan 2017 08:50:12 +0000

Change #3: Do Something New & Different

As we progress along our year-long series on FabYOUlous Changes for a FabYOUlous Life, I think it is appropriate that January’s change is do something new & different because the onset of a new year is when all of us start thinking about the new things that we’d like to experience in the new year.

The challenge however, lies not in the wanting of new things but in the experiencing of those things. Experiencing new things means getting out of bed, out of our head and out of our comfort zones–all things that are MUCH easier said than done.

Even though I blog about personal development and encourage women to ditch the drab and find their FAB, I too struggle on occasion when it comes to busting through my comfort zone and expanding my horizons. That’s why I’ve chosen the word BRAVE to be my “word of the year” for 2017. I (just like many of you, I suspect) long to experience new things but sometimes balk at the idea of actually taking action on those things. This is my year to change that and I hope that you’ll join me!

Now, as a disclaimer–I am not saying that we all need to run out and start flinging ourselves out of airplanes or go bungee jumping off the Royal Gorge. Both of those things get a big HELL NO from me. What I am saying however, is that there is great benefit to be found when we muster the courage to tiptoe out of our comfort zones and allow ourselves to be exposed to new and different experiences. In fact, in an article from CNN, cognitive psychologist, Gary Marcus writes about the positive impact that trying new things has on both our physical and emotional well being. In his article, Marcus writes…

“As Aristotle realized, there is a difference between the pleasures of the moment (hedonia), and the satisfaction that comes from constantly developing and living one’s life to the fullest (eudaimonia). In recent years, scientists have finally begun to study eudaimonia. Research suggests that the greater sense of purpose and personal growth associated with eudaimonia correlates with lower cortisol levels, better immune function, and more efficient sleep.”

“	A sense of purpose correlates with lower cortisol levels, better immune function, and more efficient sleep

By embracing a willingness to try new things, we expand our horizons by not only learning more about the world around us, but also by learning more about ourselves. For example, I never fully realized my affinity for being on the water until I tried stand up paddle boarding. Now, I LOVE being on, near, in or around water as much as possible. Something about water (even rain) is incredibly soothing to my psyche and gives me a profound sense of being “home” (which is strange considering the fact that I grew up in dry, landlocked Kansas??) Now that I know this about myself, I am constantly looking for ways to incorporate water into my life–including making plans to one day buy a house somewhere near the ocean or on a large lake. This is something that I never fully recognized about myself until I tried the new activity of paddle boarding.

Not all new things will lead to the Zen like experience that I had when I first tried stand up paddle boarding, but that’s okay. There is still power in the trying. Just last week I tried kickboxing for the first time and I sucked at it. Not only did I suck, I didn’t really enjoy it all that much. Oh sure, there is something cathartic about punching something that can’t punch you back, but I could tell that kickboxing just wasn’t going to be my thing. Still, I was proud of myself for venturing out of my comfort zone and trying something new and I learned a few things about myself, 1. I’m a lover, not a fighter 2. even though punching bags don’t punch back, you’ll still feel sore and like you were in a street fight the next morning and 3. even though I, myself, wasn’t crazy about the punching, there was something sexy about watching my husband punch the bag (yes, he went with me–he used to box professionally though so this didn’t count as a new thing for him). Overall, it was a challenging one-time experience, and for me, that’s good enough.

So, even though not every new thing that you try will end up resonating with you on a soul level or even be something that you’ll ever want to do again, there is still value in the trying. Here are seven benefits that I personally have experienced every time I’ve flexed my bravery muscle, stepped out of my comfort zone and tried something new…I’m sure that you’ll experience them too if you do the same…

7 Benefits of Trying Something New & Different

Developing new likes…and dislikes. When you try something new, you’ll either like it (paddle boarding) or you won’t (sushi–yuck!) Until you try these things, there’s no way of knowing what you like, what makes your spirit come alive or what natural talents you possess. Yes, sometimes you’ll have to muster some courage to try your new thing (click here for Five Ways to Cultivate Courage–Even When You Think You Can’t) and you might not be any good the first time you try something. Still, by trying something new, you’ll discover whether or not you like it (even if you’re no good at it.) For example–when I first tried knitting, I was flat-out TERRIBLE at it. I kept dropping stitches, twisting stitches, knotting stitches…you get the picture. Still, there was something about the feel of the yarn in my fingers and the sound of the needles clicking together that I just loved. So…I kept trying…and trying…and trying until finally…I got the hang of it. Now, knitting is one of my favorite pastimes and I can do it without thinking about it which means that it is the perfect activity to do while watching TV or carrying on a conversation. It makes me sad to think that I didn’t try knitting until I was in my 30’s, but glad that I did eventually try (and fall in love with) it
Boosting confidence. Last year I ran my very first ever half-marathon (you can read about all of the valuable lessons that the experience taught me here.) Before training for my half-marathon, I was NOT a runner. Oh sure, I ran from base to base when I played softball over the summer or occasionally through an airport while trying to catch a close connecting flight, but I never ran for distance and certainly not for fun. Still, I decided to try something new and that thing was running. What started out as a sloppy, half-hearted attempt to boost my cardio stamina and burn a few calories, ended with me crossing the finish line of a 13.1 mile race through a high elevation (in other words–no oxygen) mountain canyon. What that achievement gave me (besides a sore IT band that had to be iced for a month) was an incredible sense of accomplishment and a tremendous boost to my confidence levels. Something about having that finishers medal slipped around my neck made me feel like a total bad ass, and it is a feeling that I carry with me to this day and am able to summon whenever I feel overwhelmed by a task. Need to finish a report by noon? No problem, after all, I’ve run a half-marathon. Nervous about submitting an article to a magazine? Oh come on now–hitting “send” is a thousand times easier than running a half marathon. Scared to confront the office bully? No way! I mean seriously…can they run 13.1 miles? Having this accomplishment in my hip pocket to draw strength from has given me the confidence to face so many other challenges. None of that would have happened though if I hadn’t decided to give running a try.
Making FabYOUlous new friends. Back in 2001, I was a young mom with two little boys who had just moved to a new city in a different state away from all of my family and friends. I didn’t know a soul and kept getting lost because I wasn’t yet familiar with the layout of my new town. I was feeling lonely and discouraged and in desperate need of some adult to adult conversation (because let’s face it–one can only talk to a three year old boy about choo choo trains so many times before losing her ever loving mind) so I decided to try something new and venture out to a local “Mom’s Club” gathering. I was a nervous wreck, but I pasted on a smile, swallowed my fears, sucked it up and walked into the meeting. What a difference that one, new thing has made in my life. Those little boys who were three and five back then are now 21 and (almost) 19 and yet one of the gals from that very first meeting is still, to this day, one of my best friends (I’m looking at you Kathy!). I’ve also made new friends while attending knitting classes, showing up at business networking functions and going to blogging conferences. If fact, I would say that venturing out and trying new things is one of the best ways to make new friends because by exploring things that you are interested in, you will, by default, become connected to others who share that interest; therefore providing common ground upon which to build a friendship.

Developing new talents. I first wanted to develop a website back in 2007 but I didn’t actually start tinkering around with the idea until 2015. My first site was pretty terrible and so was my second, third…you get the picture. Still, (much like my knitting experience mentioned above), I genuinely enjoyed creating online content and working with design elements to create a functional and attractive web presence. The more I learned about coding, hosting and SEO (Search Engine Optimization for those of you who aren’t quite as geeked out about this stuff as I am), the more skilled I became. I still learn new tricks every single day, but because I was willing to try something new, I am now able to add website creation to my list of talents. Unless you are willing to step out of your cozy, yet stifling comfort zone, you will never get the opportunity to discover all of the amazing things for which you have a natural talent. Yes, that talent may require a little refining or practice, but the first step to cultivating talent is to try something that you’ve never tried before.

“	The first step to cultivating talent is to try something that you’ve never tried before. —MELISSA VENABLE

Cultivating Creativity. Something magical happens when you try something new–your brain makes new connections and begins to weave old experiences with newer ones. This amazing ability is what allows creativity to develop and grow. Exposing your brain to new experiences, sensations, people and ideas is what gets “creative juices” flowing and allows you to think “outside the box” more easily.
Challenging previously held beliefs. Before I entered the world of nonprofit management, I lived in my safe little bubble where it was easy to assume that bad things didn’t happen to good people. Once I began my nonprofit career however; I quickly learned just how wrong that belief was. The thing is–my degree is in English and I was supposed to be an English teacher. It was only when I decided to try something new and accept a position with a nonprofit organization that I began to fully realize the difficulties that so many people are faced with on a daily basis and the positive impact that a service organization is able to make on those individuals. This is a valuable lesson that I was destined to learn sooner or later, but it happened when I veered from my “comfort zone” path and tried something different.
Inspiring others. Whether you realize it or not, people are watching you. It might be your children, your friends, co-workers etc. This is important because, based upon the theory of social contagion (which documents the spread of affect or behavior from one crowd participant to another), your actions are impacting those around you. When people see you being brave and stepping out of your comfort zone to try something new, they are inspired (though often subconsciously) to do the same. I experienced this personally when I observed my good friend Jonelle ‘s meditation practice. After observing the mindful way that she goes about her day and learning about her approach to meditation, I too decided to begin my own mindfulness practice. She inspired me to try something new and hopefully I am doing the same for others whenever I stretch myself to try something outside of my normal routine.

With the start of a new year, comes the perfect time to make a commitment to yourself to bust down the walls around your comfort zone and experience something new. Let this be the year that you do something different. Let this be the year that you live your most FabYOUlous life yet!

Make sure that you have all the energy you need as you undertake new adventures! Click here for a FREE ebook with 50 Fab-YOU-lous ways to energize your life

Check Us Out! Fab-YOU-lous Life is Now Featured on Wisdom Ninja

Melissa Venable — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 04:44:20 +0000

It’s always a thrill when you get to collaborate with other sites and I am THRILLED to announce that I’ve been featured on the incredible Wisdom Ninja website.

If you haven’t visited Wisdom Ninja yet–YOU ARE MISSING OUT! They post great content on a variety of interesting topics. Seriously–I could easily spend hours reading their incredible posts on creativity, motivation, inspiration and more.

FabYOUlous Life was recently featured on the site with a post titled The Wedding Vows We Really Should be Taking and we look forward to partnering more with them in the future.

So…pop on over to Wisdom Ninja, and while you’re there, be sure to sign up for their updates and follow their different social media platforms just like you do for FabYOUlous Life (you do follow FabYOUlous Life right? If not, be sure to sign up for our updates and FREE “50 FabYOUlous Ways to Energize Your Life” ebook and follow us on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter).

The Joys of Masturdating…

Melissa Venable — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 20:31:22 +0000

Become Your Own B.F.F.

I don’t remember where I first heard the term “masturdate” but I absolutely love it. I love it because 1.) it’s a funny play on words that cracks me up and 2.) it is something that might seem a little strange and awkward at first, but eventually feels sooo good.

Oh come on—this site is rated PG (or PG-13 at the very least)…get your mind out of the gutter (wink!)

Masturdating is essentially, the process of going out on dates with yourself so that you can learn to enjoy your own company. The important aspect of this is that when I say dates, I mean dates, not errands. Running to the bank, grocery store and dry cleaners by yourself is not a date—going out for a nice dinner (with wine) and then seeing a movie that you’ve been looking forward to is.

At first, many people have a hard time dating themselves. They feel strange sitting alone in a crowded restaurant or buying a single ticket to a concert because they don’t want people feeling sorry for them and thinking that they can’t get a real date. I only have one thing to say about this…GET OVER IT. Don’t let the initial feelings of awkwardness or worry over what other people are thinking of you (because newsflash—most people aren’t thinking of you) stop you from the joy and pleasure that is masturdating.

Just like in traditional dating scenarios when two people are learning about each other and trying to discover what makes the other person tick in the hopes of finding a love-match, masturdating does the same but on a solo level. Masturdating is all about spending time in your own company so that you can rediscover all of the things that you enjoy and love about yourself.

Not only is masturdating an eye-opening experience that helps us to reconnect with the activities that we enjoy, it also allows us the opportunity to experiment with new things without the worry of needing to please or impress another person. We are able to try new restaurants or experiences knowing full well that if we don’t like them, we can get up and walk out without anyone judging us. On the flip side, if we discover a quaint little bookstore that we love, we can spend as much time as we want wandering the aisles without worrying about anyone getting impatient with us. By going on a date with ourselves, we are taking full responsibility for our own happiness and enjoyment, and in doing so, sending a powerful message to our psyches that we matter and that our pleasure is important.

In addition to the pleasure factor, masturdating has other benefits of a more spiritual kind. When we invest time and energy into our own enjoyment and lovingly treat ourselves with kindness and respect, we attract more of those enjoyable and loving feelings to us. When we put forth the effort to “woo” ourselves and shower ourselves with attention, we demonstrate to the universe that we are worthy of adoration—to which the universe responds by bringing us more opportunities to feel cherished and adored. It’s a cycle that once you get on, you’ll never want to get off.

Often when I talk about masturdating, people will assume that this is something that is only meant for singles—not for people who are happily coupled up. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am happily married to the world’s greatest guy and still, I masturdate every chance I get. Sure—my honey and I go out on wonderful dates together and invest time in our relationship; but…going to yarn stores or quaint coffee shops just isn’t his jam, so I spare him the agony of these activities and happily pursue them on my own. I firmly believe that having a solid, foundational relationship with oneself is the critical bedrock upon which all other relationships are built.

“	Having a solid relationship w/oneself is the critical bedrock upon which all other relationships are built —MELISSA VENABLE

Only by valuing and loving ourselves are we able to truly value and love others. Plus–when we develop a strong sense of respect for ourselves, we will learn not to tolerate anyone who gives us less than we know that we deserve. Therefore, masturdating helps us to establish the boundaries and standards necessary for us to enjoy rewarding relationships with others.

Okay—now that I’ve convinced you of the value of masturdating, it’s time to go to it. Here are a few suggestions to get you started…

Go see that movie that you’ve been wanting to see but haven’t been able to convince anyone else to go to. While you’re there, be sure to buy yourself a large popcorn and a box of Junior Mints—this is a date afterall.
Pack a picnic basket (complete with a bottle of wine), grab a blanket and a good book and head to a park. Spend the afternoon nibbling, drinking, reading, resting and people watching. Give yourself bonus points if you leave your smartphone at home.
Spend a day at the beach (or in the mountains, at a lake etc.) Get some sun and fresh air (and maybe a little exercise if you throw in a hike or swim)
Take a class that interests you—pottery, website design, genealogy, photography…whatever flips your switch.
Enjoy breakfast out of bed. Grab the crossword puzzle from the newspaper and head out to breakfast by yourself. Enjoy some pancakes and OJ with a side order of peace & quiet.

The opportunities for masturdating are only limited by your imagination. Basically, anything that you might normally do with another person is an opportunity to masturdate. Lose your inhibitions, do a little experimentation and allow yourself to experience all of the FabYOUlous pleasure that comes from masturdation, you’ll be so glad that you did.

Lessons I Learned While Running (and Training for) my First Half-Marathon

Melissa Venable — Sun, 25 Sep 2016 12:00:42 +0000

A Little About Running--A Lot About Life...

I DID IT!!! I just finished my very first ever half-marathon! For those of you who don’t run, that is a distance of 13.1 miles…13.1 LONG miles!

I have plenty of runner friends who run marathons and half-marathons like they are no big deal, but that’s not me. To me, a half-marathon is a VERY big deal. Like, HUGE.

I have always been blessed to be naturally thin and in decent shape but I have NEVER considered myself a runner. I’ve led an active lifestyle of playing softball, hiking, bicycling etc. but for me, running always felt more like punishment than pleasure. Why then did I (at the age of 46) decide to train for and run a half-marathon?

The answer: temporary insanity, AND the desire to push myself to do something that I never thought was possible for me.

It wasn’t easy (not even close) but now that the race is behind me, I can definitely say that the sense of accomplishment of having crossed the finish line is well worth the effort that it took to achieve it.

In addition to the “bragging rights” that come along with finishing a half-marathon, I also learned some valuable lessons along the way–some about running, but mostly about life…

Lessons Learned While Running (and Training for) my First Half-Marathon

1.) Showing up at the starting line takes a lot more courage than crossing the finish line. When I clicked the button to complete my online registration for my first half-marathon, I nearly had a full blown anxiety attack. What had I just done? Had I gone completely batsh!t crazy? Was I seriously going to run a half-marathon? All of those thoughts continued to plague me right up until the moment when the starter’s gun fired. Once the race started, all I had to do was run. Up until that point however; I had to constantly battle the worry of not being good enough, the concern about whether or not I was truly ready and the fear of embarrassing myself in front of a million (okay–maybe a couple hundred) other people. Sometimes in life, we let ourselves get so wrapped up in the fear of all of the things that could go wrong that we forget to think about the things that just might go right. Caving to my fears would have prevented me from earning my finisher’s medal and feeling the elation of crossing the finish line. Don’t let fear rob you of potentially life enriching experiences. Life shrinks or expands in direct proportion to one’s courage. Click here for five FabYOUlous ways to cultivate courage–even when you think you can’t.

2.) The first mile is a LIAR–don’t believe it! When going on a long run, you’d think that your first mile would be the easiest right? I mean, you’re fresh, you’re rested, you’re rarin’ to go. Piece of cake right? WRONG! For me (and for many other runners that I’ve talked to) the first mile is often one of the most difficult miles of a race. During the first mile, your legs haven’t fully loosened up, you struggle to find your cadence and your brain notices every little twinge and ache and tries to convince you that you should just stop this nonsense and go home. DON’T LISTEN! Just like in life, getting started is often the most difficult part of a task. Whether it’s running, writing a book, going to the gym or balancing your checkbook, getting started is hard because it requires you to overcome the inertia of doing nothing (and let’s face it–doing nothing is easy and it feels good). However; at some point after getting started (for me, it is about mile 3) things start to get easier. You find your rhythm, your muscles stop bitching at you and your breathing becomes more regulated. None of this would happen however if you had stopped during mile one. In physics, this can be explained through Newton’s first law of motion–objects at rest tend to stay at rest while objects in motion tend to stay in motion. Make this law work for you by getting started and staying in motion until you find your flow. For more tips on how to put this principle to work in your life, click here.

3.) Run the mile you’re in. One of the worst things that you can do during a long run is obsesses about how many more miles you have to go. When you’re on mile four of a thirteen mile run, you’ll make yourself crazy and completely discouraged if you lament the fact that you’re not even at the half way mark. Instead, just focus on running the strongest mile four that you can. Listen to your music, enjoy the scenery, feel the strength in your body and keep putting one foot in front of the other. In other words, be in the moment. This advice holds true for all aspects of life. Rather than worrying about how far you still have to go to reach your goals, focus instead on the task right in front of you and do it to the best of your ability. Staying present and focusing on the here and now will help you to do the things that you need to do in order to eventually reach your goal. It will also make the journey toward your goal FAR more enjoyable.

4.) Find your pace. A half-marathon is NOT a sprint. If you explode out of the gate like a bat out of hell, you are going to run out of gas–fast. Instead, the secret to a successful long run is knowing (and sticking to) your pace. My pace isn’t fast (not by a long shot) but it is enough to earn me a comfortable, middle-of-the-pack finish and that is totally fine with me. I know that I could run faster during my early miles but then I’d pay the price during my later miles. Conversely, I’ve also tried to slow my pace down a bit on some of my longer training runs only to find that my body (for whatever reason) naturally gravitates back to my normal pace. So, the key to my success when it comes to distance running is to find my pace and settle into it for the long haul. I think that this is good advice for real life as well. When we fall too far below our natural pace, we can become lazy, stagnant and unproductive. On the other hand, working at a furious pace for an extended period of time can lead to burn out and exhaustion. To maximize productivity and ensure physical and emotional well being, find the pace that is comfortable for you and try to stick with it as you make sustained and steady progress toward your goals.

5.) Build on small successes. When I first decided to start running, I couldn’t run more than a quarter mile without having to stop for a breather. The fact that I just ran 13.1 miles astounds me. The only way this happened was by working, bit by bit, piece by piece to build my endurance. It wasn’t easy, but eventually a quarter mile turned into a half mile which turned into one, five, ten and 13.1 miles. This is how life works too. We try something new and we suck at it but we keep going. Eventually we begin to suck a little less and sooner or later (sometimes much later) we actually start to get pretty good at the thing. Keep this in mind the next time you try something new and hard. The expert at every skill was at one time a beginner–just like you. The secret is to persevere and build upon your small gains.

6.) Discipline trumps motivation. Every. Single. Time. So many people get hyped up over the importance of motivation when it comes to reaching goals. Here’s the thing though–you will not always feel motivated. Sometimes you will feel downright lethargic and completely unmotivated. That’s when discipline is required in order to see you through to your goal. I can’t tell you how many times I DID NOT want to go for a training run (like, pretty much every time I had to go for a training run!) but self-discipline is what got me out the door and the miles logged. Sure, once I started my run and the endorphins began to kick in, I enjoyed my runs, but it required a great deal of discipline to get me to that point. For me, the actual running is the easy part of training–the hard part is getting my shoes on my feet and my butt out the door. Personal development expert, Jim Rohn once said that there are two different kinds of pain when it comes to reaching our goals–the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. The difference is that the pain of discipline weighs ounces while the pain of regret weighs tons. That is a great thing to keep in mind the next time your motivation takes a nosedive.

“	Discipline trumps motivation. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. #FabYOUlousLife

7.) You are your only competition. Unless you are an ultra-elite, olympic caliber athlete, you really shouldn’t be concerned about competing with anyone other than the person that you were yesterday. As I ran my race, there were plenty of people ahead of me but that’s okay–I wasn’t competing with them. I was competing with myself in an attempt to prove to myself that I could run further than I had ever before run. Sure, it’s fun to win and there will be times in life when you are the winner. However; I know that I am never going to be a top finisher when it comes to running and I am totally fine with that. Instead, I simply focus on becoming a better runner than I used to be. Some people get discouraged and frustrated when they see that there are others ahead of them, but here’s the thing–whether it is a running race or life in general, there will always be someone ahead of you. Rather than being upset by this, or jealous of other people’s accomplishments, try instead to see these individuals as inspirations and proof that it (whatever it is) can be done.

8.) Know your limits. This has been a tough lesson for me to learn–especially during the final week leading up to my race. I wanted to run a few short, easy runs to keep my cardio fitness up to par but my IT band (the ligament that extends from the pelvic bone to the shin bone) was giving me fits–so much so that I was worried about whether or not I’d be able to run come race day. So, instead of running, I spent the week of my race icing, foam rolling, stretching and massaging my leg. My injured IT band was no doubt due to over-training and though I wanted to continue my training regimen, I knew that doing so would make the injury worse and prevent me from being able to participate in the race. As much as I hated it, I knew that I had to rest my injured leg. This happens to all of us in real life too. We feel compelled to keep pushing, striving and hustling and yet something knocks us (temporarily) out of the game. The trick is knowing when to push through the struggle and continue on or when to ease off and take a break. Neither choice is easy but choosing to ignore what your body and intuition are telling you can result in you being sidelined far longer than if you had heeded the warning and respected the limits of your capabilities.

9.) Appreciate your support team. As I look back over my training, there is one particular night that really stands out in my memory. I was stressed out because I needed to go for a run, but I had waited longer than usual; it was starting to get dark and the weather was getting sketchy. I was nervous as I started out on that run but I needed to get those miles logged, so I headed out the door and down the street. My nerves quickly abated however at about mile three when I noticed a very familiar looking white paint van following me. Now normally, I would tell female runners who are running alone at night and being followed by a nondescript white van to CALL 911 because you are about to get kidnapped. I did NOT call 911 however, because on this particular night, I recognized that van to be my sweet husband’s work van. My hubby knew that I was worried about that run and he knew that a storm was rolling in faster than I had anticipated, so he hopped in his van and proceeded to follow me until I was safely back on our street. As my training runs began to grow longer and longer, I began to see that white paint van more and more often. Sometimes he’d pull up beside me with a water bottle, other times he’d just continue to cruise by me, making sure that I was doing okay. Even on the times when he didn’t stop, just seeing his van was such a comfort to me and flooded me with feelings of love and support. I am also thankful for the advice and encouragement that my friend Jenny (who is an avid runner and personal trainer) gave me throughout my training and the regular text message pep-talks that I received from my parents. Training for a half-marathon is hard, but it would have been so, so much more difficult if it weren’t for the amazing support that I received from my friends and family. I only hope that I can somehow return the favor and one day be as supportive to each of them as they have been to me.

10.) You can do hard things. Training for and running a half-marathon is one of the most physically challenging things that I have ever done and yet, as hard as it was physically–it was even harder mentally. I’ve had other runner friends tell me that when it comes to distance running, 90% of the battle takes place between your ears, and they are SO right. I can’t tell you how many times during my training runs, my mind would be begging me to give up and go home despite the fact that my legs and lungs were holding their own and doing just fine. As a non-runner who pretty much viewed running as a form of torture, I had convinced myself that distance running was basically equivalent to slow motion suicide. As you can imagine, this was a pretty difficult mental block for me to overcome. Now that I have a completed a half-marathon under my belt however; I can say with relative certainty that a half marathon is something that most people (who are in decent physical condition) can do, if (here’s the kicker…) they put their mind to it.

There is a quote by Thomas Edison that I just love, it reads “if we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” I believe that this quote holds true in running and in real life. Too often we pass up the opportunity to do something great because we think that it will be too difficult or that we don’t have the capabilities required to make it happen. Don’t sell yourself short! You can do hard things. Take control of your thought-life and replace the negative BS (that’s short for…belief systems…and maybe something else-ha!) that rolls through your brain on a daily basis, with empowering thoughts of accomplishment and positivity. You really can do hard things, and the more hard things you do, the more confident you’ll feel the next time a hard thing lands in your path.

11.) Understand that “crazy” is a compliment. Since starting my half-marathon training, I’ve lost count of how many people have told me that I’m “crazy”. At first, I was a little discouraged by it but now, I love it when people tell me that I’m crazy for running so far. You bet I’m crazy–crazy awesome!

Now full marathoners on the other hand…those folks are certifiable

Bottom line is–doing something that is out of the norm for most people will always make you seem a little kooky. That’s okay though–embrace the crazy because the truth of the matter is, most people wish that they could be as crazy as you.

12.) Slap that sticker and CELEBRATE! You know those oval 13.1 stickers that you see on the vehicles of runners? Yeah–you can bet your ass that I slapped one of those suckers on my car the second I got back to the parking lot (by the way–we’re betting your ass because I just ran mine off…seriously, I have no ass left to speak of. I think it fell off somewhere around mile nine; and yet despite that…something back there is sore).

Finishing a half-marathon is an accomplishment that most people will never experience so I will post it on Facebook, hashtag it on Instagram, cherish my finisher’s medal as if it were an Olympic Gold, wear my race t-shirt to the office and be all around obnoxious about the whole thing for about a week. Then, I’ll chill out and begin to think about what my next endeavor might be (I’m thinking summiting one of our Colorado Fourteeners…maybe? For you flat-landers, the highest mountains that we have in Colorado reach an elevation of 14,000 feet so they are called Fourteeners. That sounds like a reasonable challenge doesn’t it?)

When you reach a goal, be sure that you too take the time to savor the moment and celebrate your success. You’ve earned the right to be proud of yourself and there is no shame in wanting to share that success with others. Just be sure that you don’t settle. Don’t let your accomplished goal be the final clip on your highlight reel. Instead, use the momentum that you’ve created as a catalyst to continue striving for new experiences. I don’t know if I’ll continue to be a distance runner, but I do know that running my half-marathon has taught me that I am stronger, more resilient and yes…a bit crazier than I had originally thought. I plan to take those qualities and put them to good use on whatever my next FabYOUlous undertaking may be.